Tuesday, February 12, 2013

Vacation/Fat Tuesday!

I actually have nothing of relevance to state for Fat Tuesday, I just didn't want to have "Vacation" be my subject again. I'm already fat, it's not like the day of the week makes any difference. ;D

So yesterday I managed to get the groceries purchased and finish the valentines - you know, the fun stuff. It didn't help that my partner-in-laziness stayed home from work yesterday due to his back being in mucho pain-o, which never helps me get stuff done; I don't know why, but my brain goes into weekend mode when he stays home on a weekday (or I stay home on a weekday - but I usually only do that when I'm legitimately sick so I'm useless anyway). He was understanding and didn't make me feel bad, though, which was nice. Still, there's SO MUCH I feel I need to do.

I also had a realization of why I feel so overwhelmed with stuff to accomplish versus lack of desire to do stuff around the house/wanting to be out of the house: I HATE being home. Well, let me rephrase: I hate being home when it's because I have nothing else to do. Home is a place for rest and comfort, not the center of my world. Which isn't to hate on anyone else who stays at home for their job/SAHM, it's just not me. I need to feel like I have a reason to leave the house, and that people need me somewhere. Which explains why I feel so lost on vacation and when I'm unemployed - I'm supposed to relax at home, but there's all these responsibilities that the home requires, too, which is off-putting (yeah, I've never been a fan of chores); it's different doing chores when I've been busy all week and it's making my home better so I can relax in it/have friends over to socialize. When chores are the ONLY goal of the day, it makes me shut down.

Ok, I realize how whiny this sounds, but the main point is that I'm finally realizing what the hell the problem is, so I need to figure out how to combat this issue when I'm unemployed again this summer. I might be using the local library and coffee shops as my "office" when I'm job-hunting so I have a reason to get out of the house, then chores can be a PART of my "busy day" again.

ANYWAY. Today I really do want to get some laundry and the dishes done, and to also clean off the dining room table/psuedo-craft area so it's V-day ready. Tomorrow will be more laundry and an attempt to reorganize my craft desk (It's a DISASTER), and maybe treating myself to a movie. Off we go!

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