Saturday, February 16, 2013

The Definition of a "Romantic"

I don't consider myself a "romantic". Yes, me, the woman who just posted a Valentine's Day post about how much I love the holiday.

I love love, I love the idea of love, but I don't consider myself a "romantic".

Here's why:
  • I'm not huge into romantic comedies - I like some, but my nose typically turns up at them. Same with romance novels, mushy romance movies, and soap operas. Basically, if the focus of the plot is mostly around a relationship, I'll probably turn my nose up. 
  • While I loveloveLOVE The Hubs, I've seen enough relationship drama and am also the product of 3 divorces (with one of those divorces reuniting, but not without some drama in-between) to know that love is not magic and requires a helluvalot of honesty and hard work. It drives me NUTS to hear people talking about love at first sight, "true love", etc.; it's delusional, in my opinion.
  • I am also not super-schmoopy - I am guilty of being physically affectionate (with The Hubs and my friends - I'm a hugger!), but when it comes to my words and verbalizing my emotions... not so great, and it kind of makes me uncomfortable. Yes, even when The Hubs says sweet things - of which he does often. If I'm in the right mood, it's lovely, but if I'm not I'm all awkward and weird. 
All that said, it surprised me when my gal pal recently told me that she considered me a "romantic". Granted, we've only known each other over the last two years (so we're still getting to know each other in some regards), so there might be just her not knowing my real opinions on love (as seen above). But maybe I am, by her personal definition.

I define a romantic as basically the opposite of everything I listed above - loves the idea of romantic love in all forms of entertainment, super-schmoopy, buys into BS like "the one", isn't happy unless they're in a relationship. I am none of those things.

My gal pal has only known me while I've been the wife to The Hubs, though, and when we're together we're pretty cuddly, and I do speak quite highly of him most of the time. So in that respect, if that's how my friend defines "romantic", then yes, I am a romantic!

As with most of life, labels are how the person defines them. I don't fit my definition of the "romantic" label, but that doesn't mean I can't be romantic to my honey. I thought I did pretty sweet for V-day; The Hubs was quite happy and felt very loved. Just because I don't consider myself a romantic doesn't necessarily mean I'm not one, nor does it mean being a romantic is a bad thing!

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