Monday, March 26, 2012

I miss cake.

So I've alluded to having health issues, but being so secretive makes it sound worse than it is. It's a combination of issues, nothing that's killing me unless I ignore it, and they all affect the others so YAY. I'm on 3 different meds, which is kind of weird, and I've GOT to change my doctor because my current one is lame. (Seriously, 2 hours PAST my appt. time before I even see her, and she's not even that informative when she told me what was wrong with me.)

The easiest way to solve my issues (aside from meds) are to eat better and avoid certain foods. Not just foods that are bad for you, like obviously junk foods, but certain foods that affect my health negatively short-term as well. I just can't eat certain foods anymore without it making me nauseous and head-achey; I can feel the effects after about 15 minutes, so I've had to basically cut those foods out. It's not the WORST thing ever, but sometimes... I miss them. I'm learning my lesson, though, 'cuz as I've adjusted to what I can and can't eat, I've given in to the resentment, like, "Screw you, body, I want cake and I'm gonna eat it!" Then I eat it and feel like ARSE for hours. UGH. I'm lucky, though, in that I can still eat a lot of what I like as long as I leave out some things or eat smaller portions of it. Like I can eat A potato, or a handful of fries... but it shouldn't go beyond that. Plus as my eating has adjusted, my eating habits have adjusted as well, which is resulting in a little weight loss... which I appreciate. The next step is to become even more healthy in eating, and less junk-eating. We eat from home a lot more, which is good... but it sucks 'cuz when I'm actually IN a hurry and need to eat on the run, my options are super-limited. UGH. LAME. I do try to plan ahead so I'm not stuck in this situation, 'cuz it SUCKS.

But if I may navel-gaze a moment and bemoan my situation a little, I want to have an In Memoriam for all the awesome food I must give up (*insert sad music playing as we pay tribute and clap politely*):

There's more, but those are my favorites.  I'm really gonna miss those guys... we had such good times together. *sniffle* But they make me feel gross and pained, so I have to say goodbye. 

If any of you love me enough, you'll record yourselves eating these things while enjoying them immensely. Seriously, all I do is stare at Pinterest pins of delicious foods I can't eat anymore. It's more erotic than porn! Hahaha. 

In all seriousness, though, I'm making my peace with it, slowly but surely. For example, some things I can have in small amounts, like a couple slices of THIN-crust pizza doesn't make me feel awful, thank GOD, so I can still quench the urge when needed. And if cutting out these foods makes me feel better in the long run, and help my body get better for other things I hope it can do, then it'll be worth it. =)

Sunday, March 18, 2012

A Moment of Happy

Having just come out of a few weeks of crazy/stress/spiritual ugliness (my own), it's so nice to sit here, watching "Troop Beverly Hills" (LOVE that movie), with a warm, sweet dog snoozing in my lap. Said sweet dog pictured below.

What's making me feel so warm and fuzzy? Realizing that, despite the last few weeks trying to convince me otherwise, my life is full of good things. When I'm stressed and unhappy, I forget those things - as do most people, I assume. Today was just a good, good day. Good food, good friends (in person and on the phone), and good times watching good (and so-AWFUL-they're-good) movies.

Today was a good day. Tomorrow promises to be just as good. I just like to take notice of these happy feelings when they happen, so I don't always fall into that trap of negativity to which I can easily succumb.

Sunday, March 11, 2012


I disappeared again. Lots of stuff going on, lots of stress, but things are finally starting to calm down. That said, here's what's been on my mind lately:
  • THERE IS SO MUCH AWESOME STUFF COMING OUT THIS MONTH. I'm a pop culture junkie, and I am seriously OMG SO EXCITED. My favorite show, "Community", comes back this Thursday, followed by the premiere of "The Hunger Games" movie (!!!!), followed by the season premiere of "Mad Men" (!!!), followed by the season premiere of "Game of Thrones"! (Ok, technically "Game of Thrones" comes back on April 1st, but I'm still counting it.) Of course, I then have to wait until the end of May for the next big thing ("The Dark Knight Returns"). So the excitement will have to last me a while. ;p
  • Had a last-minute dinner party last night, and it went surprisingly well! I say "surprisingly" because my insecurities about our tiny apartment make me worry that I'm not a good hostess... but I know that's wrong because I'm a more-than-decent cook, I make sure my home is always clean as possible, and I try my best to be accommodating. Really, what else can you do to be a good hostess? :D Considering how much laughter was had and how much food was eaten, I think I did good. We played Munchkin Zombies, which is SUCH a fun game. We need to get our own version of Munchkin, so we have some variety to play depending on whose house we're at. It was a great night, and it reminded me how blessed I am to have such lovely people in my life who enjoy my company. :)
  • Speaking of the dinner party, I was able to cook a meal that met all of the necessary dietary concerns for the guests possible, and was completely crowd-pleasing. I was so proud! AND my guests were considerate of my dietary concerns and brought a dessert that I could eat, which was ALSO awesome! 
  • Speaking of my dietary concerns, my "concerns" are basically figuring out which things I can still eat without getting sick. By "sick" I mean I don't feel like ass after I eat it. It's frustrating, because it's hard to figure out how things will affect me sometimes; the "sick" feelings take a little while to come about after eating for some foods, but others are instantaneous. Some foods I can still eat but in small amounts, and I'm still figuring out how "small" that is. It's annoying, and as my friend last night said (with her own different dietary issues), it feels like a betrayal from your body. So I'm still trying to find my comfort zone with it, I guess. Some days are better than others, and it's human nature to fight change, but I'm noticing a reluctance to eat the stuff I know will make me feel yucky more and more, and that once I find the balance that makes me happy and healthy, I'll be committed.
  • Things are finally calming down, but it's actually a bad thing. Well, not a bad thing in most respects, but I'm still in this mode of "I have free time! I MUST DO NOTHING." Which, when I only have free time once a week, is ok, but now that I have a little more free time it's not so acceptable. Y'know? So I need to snap myself out of it... especially since I have a paper due by Wednesday night. Why, yes, I HAVEN'T started it, how did you know?
  • In regards to this here blog, I'm at a stalemate. It's not that I don't want to write... I do, a lot, actually. Often I'm writing in my head while I do something else where I can't be at a computer... then I get home and have free time and... well, see previous bullet point. There's also the issue of keeping a certain amount of privacy and anonymity because I'm not set in my career field as a teacher, and some things I'd like to write about are possibly things that could be held against me by a vindictive parent (IF I ever got to that point, which I'd like to think wouldn't happen, but it's a very real concern in this new world of social media and helicopter parents). So it's either write what I want to write and consequences be damned, or play it safe. Considering I can't make a living off my writing (at least not yet), I'm in "play it safe" mode... which limits my conversation topics. Which makes me bored, and I fear bores what few readers I have. So I'm in contemplation mode. My posting will probably continue to be sporadic as I figure this out. It is what it is. 


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