Sunday, February 17, 2013

Sometimes I Need To Remind Myself of Certain Things...

Not mine; found on Tumblr, dunno source
 The Hubs and I are in a place of discomfort. Not with each other; one nice thing about our relationship is that hardships usually make us grow closer (not that it's so unusual in other relationships, I'm sure, I'm just saying so far we've managed to bond more often than part when faced with adversity). Our discomfort is the snail's pace with which we're moving towards our mutual goals.

House? Nope.
New car for The Hubs? Nope.
Job security/career satisfaction? Nope.
Kids? Nope.

Are we close to these things? Yes, but it is slow, SLOW going, and they are baby steps. Newborn-baby-sized steps. And it's frustrating, when you feel like EVERYONE else is getting what you want and that you've earned by now.

This is a constant complaint, though. It's hard to notice the small steps and forward progress when it feels like it's at a snail's pace.

But it IS moving forward. We are repairing our credit and saving up when we can to get to a place where the house is feasible; same with the car. I'm still lacking the job security *sigh*, and The Hubs and I are both working towards career satisfaction.

The kids are a situation that... well, there's only so much we can do on our end. And to be honest, we've only done part of it. It's health-related, and we're both slackers. Personally, I'm planning to get back on the wagon (the spirit is willing, flesh is weak but starting to get a little stronger, so I'm hoping to milk it), and The Hubs will come along at his own time. One thing we've learned through the years: Never tell the other one how to go about their lifestyle change. We're too different, and we just end up annoyed with each other. So tongues are bit. So some of it is within our control, and other parts are completely outside of our effect on them.

The point of this post is to recognize and remind myself that we ARE moving forward, and there's only so much we can control. We can't choose what happens to us, but we can choose how we react to what happens to us. For example, I have no say in the decision that was made in regards to my employment. I could be a true jerk and stop putting any effort forth (and man, is it tempting); I could continue burning myself out working super-hard for a place that has already decided my hard work wasn't worth keeping me past this school year. Instead, I'm choosing to continue to forth an effort that makes sure my job is still done well enough to where I don't feel like a slacker and my students are still moving forward, but not at the sacrifice of my personal life anymore. Once the school year is over, I'll choose what I pursue from there.

I can't control my health issues (as in, that they exist), but I CAN control how my habits affect them. Hopefully what I do will make the outlook of the kids situation better.

A major way in which I've grown into an adult is letting go of that bitterness and frustration that things aren't happening for us the way we want them to, on the schedule we want them to. I take comfort and reassurance in the fact that we can recognize positive growth and change in ourselves and our lives, even if we haven't hit certain markers like The Joneses in our lives have. We will get there; in the meantime, let's work on what we have a say over and continue our forward growth. I don't believe in fate, but I believe life works out as it should, and when things aren't what we wanted, we can at least take comfort in the fact that our lives are so incredibly blessed compared to a lot of people who would gladly trade spaces with us.

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