Saturday, March 2, 2013

Entitlement and Self-Care

One of the hardest things to do.
As I've hinted before, The Hubs and I are having issues at work. To sum up, we are feeling overworked, under-appreciated, and underpaid.

You know, like most people in America.

To be honest, though, we're both having to deal with superiors who are making our work environment less than ideal. The Hubs is dealing with a micro-managing situation from a supervisor who is kind of a bully. He doesn't process stress well, and it's taking its toll on him.

It's hard to watch him miserable when he leaves for work, and his shutting down when he comes home. It's even harder to know that he can't just up and quit, and take this whole horrible load off his back.

At the same time, though, he CAN'T. WE can't. We're not independently wealthy, we don't play the lottery (but maybe we should), and our parents can't support us should we up and quit OR lose our jobs... plus we are far too old to be doing such things, dammit. Just because something sucks doesn't mean we can just walk away from our responsibilities.

Yet this seems to be the mentality of our society, and in working with the upcoming generations, this attitude is getting worse and more prevalent. Somehow, we've evolved into this mindset that we're "owed" what we want, and when we don't get it, we sink into this mire of depression and blame someone else. Sometimes, it IS the fault of something or someone else, but it takes two to tango and we are partially responsible for what happens to us.

The frustration is, of course, that it is HARD to willingly stay in a situation that makes you miserable because you are obligated to other things or people, esp. when the only "benefit" you get out of the situation is a paycheck. I hate that I can't find a stable work situation so The Hubs could leave his situation (which is infinitely worse than mine). I hate that the state of education is so unstable in general. I HATE that I know I'm not the only person in my circle of friends who is in a similar situation. We work to enjoy our lives outside of work, but what do you do when your work life makes it hard to even do that?

The only solution I can find is to practice self-care, and to find pleasure in everything outside of work. I'm trying to encourage The Hubs to do the same, but I can't control what he does or how he chooses to handle (or not handle) the stress. All I know is that I feel powerless and like the asshole because I'm asking him to try and find a way he can deal with the stress until he finds something better. It feels like my fault because my chosen profession keeps changing its mind about me, apparently, and I can't provide the financial stability that his job does, and it keeps holding us back from getting a place of our own. So I feel at a stalemate. Again.

I hate my job and dread going, too, but all I can do is find something good in every day and believe that my life is working out as it is meant to. I don't believe in fate, I believe that things work out the way they should if we don't try to fight it too hard. I'm not always successful at finding the good, but at least I know my life outside of work is feeling pretty great. I just wish my husband could find the same semblance of peace.

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