5 Random Things: Religion

Let's try this again! Religion has been popping up lately, so let's do 5 random things about moi and religion.

 

Found on Tumblr, no idea the creator - if you know, tell me!

• I was baptized twice - once as a baby in a Lutheran church, and again when I was 8 and I was "saved". The second time was a Baptist church. 
• Why Lutheran the first time? Well, my parents at the time weren't religious, and my birth father still isn't. Mom was raised Lutheran, though, and he was raised Catholic and HATED it, so Lutheran was a decent compromise. Plus I suspect the idea that SIDS was fairly prevalent back in the 80's that they needed a little assurance that I'd go to heaven should I fall victim. 
• Because I was a huge book nerd even at 8 years old, my then-pastor half-joked at my baptism that I knew enough about the bible that I could take over one Sunday. I knew ALL the stories. Considering how many crazy stories there are in the bible, though, can you blame me? The children's version I had used pretty illustrations and interesting story versions that were cleaned up for child consumption, obviously, but I still knew most of them.
• I was the only middle-schooler on our youth group's bible trivia team for the summer camp we went to - and I was pretty kick-ass at it. 
• I haven't practiced any particular religion since I was 17. My reasons for doing so are my own, and it'd take too long to explain. My not being religious, however, doesn't mean I'm a hater towards religions. Christianity is not my thing, nor any other religions, but it ain't my job to tell you what to do with your life; if it makes you happy and gives you peace, then it's a good thing (unless you use your religion to judge other people's life choices - THEN you're an asshole). 

Why the thoughts on religion seemingly out of nowhere? Because The Hubs and I have been asked to be the godparents to a dear friend's 2-month-old. I KNOW, RIGHT? It's our first time being asked, and you could've knocked me over with a feather. We've agreed to do it, and the parents still want us even though I pointed out that whole "not being religious" thing; their reasoning is that while yes, we're not religious, we ARE good people, and that's just as important to them. Now I just have to hope I don't burst into flames when I enter the church. ;) Seriously, though, we're so excited and honored to do this for our friends. 

5SG: A Rough Start

Trying to be better this time around about a weekly check-in on my 5 Simple Goals for this spring.

To be brief, I did not do well. Probably because I decided to start these goals the same week I went back to work after almost two weeks off and grades were due that same week - there's always an adjustment period when school starts up again, but I always seem to think I'll be back on track like I never left.

LOL NO.

Here's the accomplishment tally:

• Workouts: 2/3 (walking workout, volleyball), but only 1 back exercises done. 
• No Night Carbs: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
• Big Chore: I did buy an organizer to help tidy up my bedroom, and Sunday I finally took care of the Xmas stuff, so I'll count this one as a win.
• Night off from electronics: Didn't happen. :(
• Nighttime routine: 2/7 nights - I was so tired when I came home, I usually crashed within a few hours, and since I didn't even make my own dinner, there wasn't lunch being made either. 

So yeah, not a great week for me. BUT that doesn't mean I can't do well this week - and to be honest, I'm quite proud of myself for getting the workouts in. I worked out Sunday morning, and I plan to do my back exercises on alternating, non-workout days. I'll try again to make the volleyball night the no-electronics night; last volleyball night was unexpectedly thrown asunder due to a scheduling snafu (that the company quickly made amends for), so in the shuffle I forgot to ignore the electronics. NEVER AGAIN (for this week).

I worry that I might have bitten off a leetle more than I can chew, so I'll be honest with myself that I feel overwhelmed. To be honest, the "no night carbs" goal because it's just HARD when I already have food issues. So I'm going to switch it for cutting back on diet soda and drink more water (which isn't as burdensome, for some reason). I'd like to try minimizing the carbs at night, though, so I WILL be mindful, but I'm just backing off it as a goal... for THIS period. I'd like to try again on the next round. I'm doing this for health - I want my body to stop being a jerk, so apparently I have to feed it good food and make it move around. JERK. I'm still working on the good food part (and to be fair, I eat healthier during the day than I do at night, so I'm not great but I'm not horrid, either), and I have to ease myself into these changes. Small changes have big results, right?

The Dream

FYI: Not my art - if you know who made this, please tell me!

With the recent disappointment in our employment situations, I've been wondering what to do next. (I'm sure The Hubs is also wondering what he's going to do, but he hasn't confided as such and I know this is an area that he's not up for being prodded.) I love what I do, and this year has honestly had my favorite students ever (in 4.5 solid years of teaching - the 0.5 being a long-term subbing job), but the general state of education and the politics (both in-school and at large) are... off-putting, to say the least. What I'm trying to decide is if it's so off-putting as to make me completely abandon the prospect of continuing in this field. At the moment, it's not, but this changes day-to-day, to be honest.

When I'm driving around, wondering what I want to happen next, this is all I tend to see:

• A decent-sized one-story house with a warm welcoming feel, an open living room/dining room, a nice big kitchen, and lots of windows/natural light in a town or city where are close to loved ones and we like the local culture
• a decent-size backyard for our dog Daisy with healthy grass and several fruit trees; when the fruit is ripe, we'll have a harvest day and all of our friends can come pick their own fruit, and I'll use the fruit to make lemonade and other tasty goodies. We'll have friends over for backyard parties and movie nights, projecting films on a bedsheet when the sun goes down
• a couple of ankle-biters running around being boogers (but they'll be OUR boogers, so it's ok that they're boogers)
• Dropping the kids off, and picking them up from school - and working somewhere part-time in-between
•  Eating a home-cooked dinner at the table, mellow music playing, as a family; Friday movie nights with the kids, cuddling under blankets and on pillows and nibbling on popcorn
• watching our kiddos playing sports or participating in theater/art classes/whatever they're interested in doing
• a craft room for me to play in, and a "man cave" for The Hubs (we'll figure it out, but we both want our own rooms somehow, hahaha)

As you can see, what I dream about isn't my career. I dream about building a life. It's weird, for the last few years with the ups and downs of my career, most of my fantasies were about being a great teacher. I feel like I finally achieved real progress towards being a great teacher this year (and was shown appreciation with a pink slip *sigh*), and I would like to continue working in the education field, but at this point in the game I'm much more concerned with moving towards the other goals I want in life - that we want in life. If I can't have the career and the home life, then I'm choosing the home life.

Now the next step is figuring out how to make that dream a reality; work still plays a part in that, obviously, we just need to figure out how to make this dream a reality. We're working on the "boogers" part, but that takes time and my body not being a jerk. The house is the next part, we just need to get my job to be more steady *sigh* and then figure out where. We're hoping next year... we hoped for THIS year, but once the pink slip was announced we knew it wasn't the best idea; knowing that the next teaching job might result in another pink slip as well is one of the factors that make looking for other work so appealing. Which is a hard fact to consider and accept when I love this job so much, but it's hindering my progress toward what else I want in life.

BUT... my life is not my job, my "job" is to live my life.Or, as Oscar Wilde put it, "I don’t want to earn my living; I want to live."

5 Simple Goals 2: Wanting to Be Better

So since my focus has shifted from being the Best Teacher Ever to being the Best Self Ever, all I can do is focus on what needs fixing. Not in a self-debilitating way (or so I hope), but my list is growing and I'm worried about getting overwhelmed. There just seems like there is so much about myself that I want to fix!

This isn't to say that I feel I'm a bad person, just... there's a lot of little things I'd like to resolved. However, I (like most human beings) struggle with a lot of change all at once. But when it feels like there's so much that needs fixing, I wonder what takes priority.

What I'd like to change:

• My level of activity (i.e., exercise)
• healthier eating
• my lack of housework
• my time spent on electronics (she wrote on her BLOG) 
• better routines, esp. a better nighttime routine

So I'm going to try another round of 4 Simple Goals again. I never really updated how the last one went (got busy), but it actually worked pretty well. I stuck with the volleyball, my crafting time increased (but wasn't once a week like I'd hoped), and I got my medicines under control. My eating fell off the wagon, and I never held the party I wanted to host (but I will next year!).

... yeah, I made this before I decided on 5 goals. Whatever, it still works.

Since there's five areas I'd like to improve, I'd like to come up with a goal for each area of change; I know it's 4, but one more isn't going to kill me, and the changes aren't that unmanageable. The "end-date" (although I aim for these to be permanent changes), or date to reassess and change/move on, will be the end of May, just over 3 months. Here are my goals!

Sometimes I Need To Remind Myself of Certain Things...

Not mine; found on Tumblr, dunno source

 The Hubs and I are in a place of discomfort. Not with each other; one nice thing about our relationship is that hardships usually make us grow closer (not that it's so unusual in other relationships, I'm sure, I'm just saying so far we've managed to bond more often than part when faced with adversity). Our discomfort is the snail's pace with which we're moving towards our mutual goals.

House? Nope.
New car for The Hubs? Nope.
Job security/career satisfaction? Nope.
Kids? Nope.

Are we close to these things? Yes, but it is slow, SLOW going, and they are baby steps. Newborn-baby-sized steps. And it's frustrating, when you feel like EVERYONE else is getting what you want and that you've earned by now.

This is a constant complaint, though. It's hard to notice the small steps and forward progress when it feels like it's at a snail's pace.

But it IS moving forward. We are repairing our credit and saving up when we can to get to a place where the house is feasible; same with the car. I'm still lacking the job security *sigh*, and The Hubs and I are both working towards career satisfaction.

The kids are a situation that... well, there's only so much we can do on our end. And to be honest, we've only done part of it. It's health-related, and we're both slackers. Personally, I'm planning to get back on the wagon (the spirit is willing, flesh is weak but starting to get a little stronger, so I'm hoping to milk it), and The Hubs will come along at his own time. One thing we've learned through the years: Never tell the other one how to go about their lifestyle change. We're too different, and we just end up annoyed with each other. So tongues are bit. So some of it is within our control, and other parts are completely outside of our effect on them.

The point of this post is to recognize and remind myself that we ARE moving forward, and there's only so much we can control. We can't choose what happens to us, but we can choose how we react to what happens to us. For example, I have no say in the decision that was made in regards to my employment. I could be a true jerk and stop putting any effort forth (and man, is it tempting); I could continue burning myself out working super-hard for a place that has already decided my hard work wasn't worth keeping me past this school year. Instead, I'm choosing to continue to forth an effort that makes sure my job is still done well enough to where I don't feel like a slacker and my students are still moving forward, but not at the sacrifice of my personal life anymore. Once the school year is over, I'll choose what I pursue from there.

I can't control my health issues (as in, that they exist), but I CAN control how my habits affect them. Hopefully what I do will make the outlook of the kids situation better.

A major way in which I've grown into an adult is letting go of that bitterness and frustration that things aren't happening for us the way we want them to, on the schedule we want them to. I take comfort and reassurance in the fact that we can recognize positive growth and change in ourselves and our lives, even if we haven't hit certain markers like The Joneses in our lives have. We will get there; in the meantime, let's work on what we have a say over and continue our forward growth. I don't believe in fate, but I believe life works out as it should, and when things aren't what we wanted, we can at least take comfort in the fact that our lives are so incredibly blessed compared to a lot of people who would gladly trade spaces with us.