How's Working Motherhood Going, You Ask?

EXHAUSTING. In the best way possible.

 I love being a mother. I love being her mother. She's the best, most beautiful, sweetest, smartest baby girl born to me EVER. (Yes, she's my first child.) Considering the road I took to get to this point, writing this is even more sweet.

One of the things preventing me from posting was that I suffered from postpartum depression. Because I don't really want to go into it, as this is a public blog and I still want to maintain SOME semblance of privacy for professional reasons, just suffice it to say that it got bad and took some time to get better. I still have bad days, but they're not nearly as bad as they were. Like, 10% of the previous level of bad, which I will GLADLY deal with to never feel like that again and to be so in love with my little girl finally. I loved her even during the PPD, but there was fear and anxiety mixed with it which confused me and hurt me.

That said, I've been receiving treatment to get better and I'm doing much better. I've been back at work for a while, and I feel like I'm almost back to my strongest when it comes to teaching, which feels great. I'm trying to find the balance, but I'm not going to lie... it's HARD. And I'm nowhere near finding it! And in sacrifice of doing my jobs of both teacher and mother, I've been neglecting my physical health. (Better that than my recently-threatened mental health, but still.) I could list all the terrible things I've been doing, but instead I'll list what unhealthy things I haven't been doing to make myself feel better:

• heroin!
• crack!
• any drugs that aren't prescribed for me!
• abusing prescribed drugs!
• forgoing any chance for sleep!
• drinking alcohol! (well, abusing alcohol - I've had maybe 1 drink a month since giving birth)
• walking around nuclear plants!
• texting while driving!
• pouring sugar directly into my mouth! (Not yet, anyway.)

 So see? I'm not THAT bad... right?

Oy, I know. It's finally getting to the point where it's not only the spirit that's willing, I'm tired of feeling gross. Plus my clothes are getting tight, and I can't afford new ones right now, so I gotta knock that crap off! Plus I have a little girl who's going to watch what I put in my mouth and want to run around being a little kid, so I need to be a good role model and be able to keep up with her.

That said, BABY STEPS.

Here's what I want to do ultimately: Eat clean food that consists of protein, vegetables, and good carbs; exercise regularly doing things I enjoy; cut out the junk food - both fast food and processed; cut out SUGAR.

For now, I'm focusing on drinking more water than soda, adding in more vegetables, and starting to incorporate exercise slowly. I want to get in some sort of cardio for 15 minutes a day. Yes, that's not a lot, but I'm THAT out of shape. (For now I'm going to play "Just Dance" on Xbox 360 Kinect - it's fun AND it makes me sweat! I might also do some beginner yoga videos on YouTube.)  I also want to do my back stretches; I have a lot of back pain that's lasted for at LEAST a month, and I need to get rid of it. Obviously, losing weight would help, but when I focus on weight loss I tend to fail quicker. Focusing on building healthy habits keeps me sane while also having the nice side effect of losing a little weight.

Yeah, this totally detracted from talking about my beautiful girl and motherhood. What can I say, I need to be a good, healthy person, and that will help me be a good mother ultimately. Besides, this would be even MORE boring if all I did was talk about how beautiful and perfect my child is - which no one will believe because all parents are biased when, in fact, my child IS the most beautiful and perfect 6-month-old ever. ;D

Wish me luck in my health pursuits! I've got a lot of unhealthy demons to blast.

What's Happening Lately - 8 Months Overdue Edition

SO. Long time no post! I doubt anyone's reading this at this point (and why would you? I never update!), but what the hell, let's catch up.

• I put on my first play! It was a middle school play, and it was terrible, but I learned from it and I'm still proud of myself for getting it on. I'm putting on another play this spring, and I'm about as prepared now as I was for the last one, but I will start working on it next month. Right now I'm a little busy. 
• Despite my terrible debut, I was hired back at my job! This is my first time returning to a teaching position, and I couldn't have been more thrilled. I really love the student population and my coworkers, so I was so excited to be asked back, and I worked my butt off for a fair amount of the summer to prepare for the school year. I'm so excited to be a contributor to making my school the best program it can be. To the point where my current big life change makes me feel a little guilty that I can't devote myself to contributing as much as I want to (but they're totally accepting and understanding of it at my school, which makes me want to do as much as I can with what time I can devote there)! At the moment, though, I'm not at work and I won't be back until December. Why? Well...
• I kind of hinted in my last entry at some news I wanted to share but couldn't share? Well, I can finally share it!
  
  
  
  
  
  And I'm 8 months overdue on it! Not only was I pregnant, but I gave birth! Yeah, I'm WAY behind. I wrote my last entry when I was just 6 weeks, and we hadn't gone to the doctor yet to get the official "Yup, you're knocked up" confirmation yet. But I'd taken 3 pregnancy tests and they'd all come out positive, so it was looking fairly good. Luckily, it stuck and our beautiful baby girl was born just on the brink of the Libra astrology time frame. As silly as it sounds, I love that she was born a Libra, as I am a Libra as well and I think Libras are awesome.
  
  I wish I'd posted while pregnant, but there wasn't much to post and I was just so tired I usually slept when I had a free moment. I was lucky in that most of the pregnancy was easy until the last few months. I had gestational diabetes, which required insulin injections (ow) and twice weekly non-stress tests (ugh), but that was about as hard as it got. Not saying I want to jump right into the next pregnancy, but I'm hoping if we are lucky enough to have a second one (planned or happy accident) that it will be similarly easy.
  
  The Hubs and I love being parents so far, as exhausting as it is. She's the cutest baby ever, of course, because she's our baby and we're totally biased, but she gets lots of compliments from strangers so we're feeling pretty good that it's not just our bias blinding us and that she is, in fact, adorable. So far she's a good baby, too. She's a good sleeper and a good eater, and when she's fussy it's usually easily resolved. Babies are fairly simple - they're either hungry, wet, gassy, or lonely. The only problem is figuring out which one is the issue in order to stop the crying. ;) Whichever scientist creates a legitimate baby translator will win the Nobel Prize that year, I swear.
• Speaking of Libras, tomorrow is my 33rd birthday! I usually live for my birthday, but I'm too braindead and tired from the little angel pictured above to really give a crap at the moment. The Hubs has promised to pick up dinner from wherever I want for dinner, and I think I'll treat myself to a long shower and an attempt at shaving my legs. I haven't shaved them since I was at least 8 months pregnant, because it hurt to bend over. I could braid my leg hair at this point. Otherwise, eh. I'm too tired to care, and leaving the house with a newborn is just too daunting a task right now. I know we need to leave the house eventually for reasons other than her pediatric appointments, but I'm still not quite ready. Luckily, most people are willing to come to us, which I greatly appreciate. 

So yes, I've gone from a Hot Mess Housewife to a Hot Mess Momma! We'll see how it goes, but I will post cute stories when I have a moment. No guarantees! But I want those who've been through it to have the opportunity to laugh at my naivety, of course. 

2014: Goals for the Year, January-March

While I am nowhere near an expert at making goals, I have learned from teaching students how to set academic goals that they have to be reasonable, they have to be measurable, and they have to be ACCOMPLISH-ABLE. If you set a goal beyond the time frame available, then you're setting yourself up to fail. (For example, there's no way I could lose 50 lbs in 3 months, at least not without doing it in a very unhealthy manner.)

I also think setting goals for an entire year is a bit too much; stuff happens, and we can't always control what happens to us, just how we react to it. So it makes more sense to set a goal for a few months, and then re-assess at that point. If it's going well, keep going; if it's not working, try to figure out what the problem is and figure out a fix. So my 2014 goals will be for the overall year, with measurable steps along the way.

So what do I want out of 2014?

To be happy,

and

To be healthy.

So how do you measure happiness in a way to achieve a goal? By taking steps to fix the things that make me unhappy.

So as to not overwhelm myself, I have two mini-goals to help me achieve the two overarching goals of 2014, one for each.

Happiness: Break my internet habit. (Don't think I don't see the irony in blogging about this.) Seriously, though, when I come home, I zone out with my computer and iPhone. Some people use the TV, I use the internet. So much time is wasted where I could be doing something much more fulfilling, like crafting, or reading, or stuff around the house that needs to get done. I mean, we're hoping to move in the next 2 months, so I'll need to use at least a couple of evenings for packing, for example. Not to mention I just feel like I'm wasting my life away on the internet when I could be doing something more interesting or personally fulfilling.

So how will I stay off my favorite time-killer? 

• Make plans on the weekends. Can't be on the computer if I'm out of the house. Luckily, I usually have plans on the weekend, so this won't be that much of a stretch. I'll just need to find ways to get out of the house during the day, esp. if The Hubs isn't interested in joining me. 
• I want to stay off the internet at least 3 nights a week for now. Mondays and Fridays will be long days at work due to tutoring after school, so I think it's only fair to decompress with my internet crutch on those days, but I'll aim to stay off the internet Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday. I'll give myself an hour on a timer after dinner, and once that timer goes off, the computer is shut down. 
• Of course, as we are house-hunting (renting, not buying) at the moment, I might have to go on if The Hubs needs me to check something out related to that. 
• No using the internet on the phone if I've shut the computer down for the night. Leave my wifi off. NOTHING is so important that it can't wait until tomorrow. 
• Playing games on my phone doesn't count as "more fulfilling activities". I can play on the phone a little before bed as long as it's not internet and it doesn't keep me up later than I need to be. (If it does, then it'll get limited. To be fair, though, I do read books on my iPhone.)

Health: Only eat out 4 times a week (including weekends). We have gotten into a NASTY take-out addiction. Part of it is my fault; my main household chore is cooking, and I haven't been doing it. Part of the problem was that I injured my calf, which has required me to be off of my feet for most of November, but it was a problem before that (which we blamed my coaching schedule for). The point is that I was working myself overtime, and using it as an excuse to not cook at home. Which means bad food, more money than we need to spend, and actually more time and effort than if I'd just cooked at home half the time. Seriously. We also tend to not cook on the weekends, which meant we were eating out a LOT. We're both tired of it, we're both frustrated that it wastes money, and honestly most convenient fast food doesn't taste that great. And since I'm the main cook, guess whose responsibility it is to fix this problem? That's right, THIS GAL.

So how will I ensure this happens?

• When I'm cooking the current dinner, take out the meat from the freezer for the next meal and put it in the fridge. I tend to use this as an excuse for not cooking, because if I forgot (or "forgot") to defrost the meat, and I'm tired when I get home, then I don't want to wait for the meat to defrost in order to eat, right? GUESS I SHOULD ORDER OUT. So no more, darn it! Take out the food for tomorrow while cooking this evening's meal. Simple!
• Get back to meal planning. It's not even that hard, and I have about a GAZILLION recipes saved to Pinterest - I even have an Excel spreadsheet AND a Google calendar set up for meal planning! So not only do I need to meal plan, but when I'm picking out the food from the freezer to defrost, I'll choose which meal to cook from the plan. 
• Buy a frozen meal or two for "emergencies" (like something comes up that keeps me late, or I just am TOO DANG TIRED). Even buying a pre-made frozen meal is still cheaper than buying a fast-food meal. 

Fairly simple and attainable, and I've still left myself some squidge room to help me transition to these better behaviors. I feel confident going into these because they're not totally overwhelming, they feel manageable, and they're measurable. Even if I end up buying 5 meals out one week, but we've been doing better before then, I'll still feel successful.

I can't guarantee that I'll update regularly with my success, but I'll try. Baby steps into blogging regularly. ;D

Foodie Friday: Healthy Eating Recipes!

Let's be honest: You're here for the recipes, right? ;D I understand. Let's cover the food first, then if you're curious how I'm eating/exercising, that'll be below the "Read More" link!

Here are some of my favorite recipes that are low-calorie, and easily served alongside some veggies (if they don't incorporate veggies already)!

The one pictured above is my own mish-mash that I like to call "Asian Goulash" (even though it has nothing in common with actual goulash). I love Chicken Lettuce Wraps from P.F. Chang's, but it's an awfully expensive option. ;) I found this recipe from YumSugar years ago, and basically mish-mashed the recipe into my own combination of them. If I don't feel like scooping it into lettuce, I'll serve it over rice instead with a little extra sauce. This recipe doubles easily if you have more people to feed; I designed it for one large serving each for 2 people (The Hubs and myself).

Asian "Goulash"
Ingredients:

1/2 pound ground meat (I used turkey)
1/2 of an 8oz can of water chestnuts, chopped into bite-size pieces
2-3 celery stalks, chopped into small pieces
1 Tbsp minced garlic (or less, if you're not as into garlic as I am - I loooove garlic)
1 tsp minced fresh ginger OR 1/4 tsp ground ginger
3 Tbsp low-sodium soy sauce, split
1 Tbsp hoisin or oyster sauce (whatever you prefer), split
1 tsp corn starch, split
a pinch of crushed red pepper flakes
dash of sesame oil (optional)
minced green onions (optional)
lettuce leaves (I love butter lettuce for this) or cooked rice

Instructions:

1. Chop your veggies and aromatics first! Sprinkle 1/2 a tsp of cornstarch over the ground turkey and mix it up. (The cornstarch will help give the sauce something to adhere to later.)
2. Mix 1.5 Tbsp of soy sauce and 1/2 a Tbsp of hoisin/oyster (whichever you chose). Go ahead and mix the remaining soy and hoisin, 1/2 a tsp of cornstarch, pepper flakes, and  sesame oil (if including); it'll be your sauce for pouring over the meat and rice. We're prepping all this stuff ahead because the cooking process will go FAST.
3. Spray a little cooking spray on your skillet. Throw in the garlic and ginger, and stir around a little, about 1 minute. Add the cornstarched-mixed meat, and cook until meat is cooked through. 
4. Add in the celery and water chestnuts. Cook for about 1 minute, stirring around. 
5. Pour the soy/hoisin-only mixture over the meat and veggies, and stir around to make sure everything's covered. You're done!
6. Serve over rice or in washed lettuce leaves, pouring the sauce over it if you desire. (If you don't think you'll want sauce, use it during the cooking process. The Hubs likes having extra sauce so I save half for serving.) Enjoy!

Served over rice, each serving is 352 calories, 9.4g fat, 37.3g carbs (4g of fiber!), and 28g of protein! SUPER-filling.

Spinach Lasagna Rolls

I actually typed the recipe up over on SparkRecipes already. But it's mine! I modified it from a vegan recipe on thekitchn.com because I like cheese too much to substitute the fake stuff. ;p

Other healthy recipes I like that I didn't create:
Sausage and Brown Rice casserole (I sub in carrots and cauliflower for the bell pepper)
Slow-Cooker Teriyaki Pork  (I serve it over brown rice and steamed broccoli!)
Fagioli Soup - pasta fagioli soup without the pasta
Cheeseburger Soup - Low carb and deeee-lish!

What's great about all of these recipes is that they HAPPEN to be healthy while also being super-tasty! The Hubs does NOT complain when we eat these, and I don't feel like all I'm eating is lettuce.

If you'd like to know what my general eating and exercise practices are, click on "Read More"!

What Works for Me: Healthy Habits Checklist (Free Printable!)

  Download link: JPG  PDF

So not only am I doing all that healthy eating junk, but I'm ALSO getting my teeth health junk in order, too! Nothing serious, but my dentist would like me to brush my teeth twice a day (I'm a mornings-only brusher) and floss at least once a day (Yup, I'm REALLY bad). I'm naturally blessed with good quality teeth; I'll be 32 this year, and I still have only had one official cavity! My gums aren't great, though, and I went through a deep root planing 2 years ago and I will be DARNED if I have to go through THAT again, ugh. (I'm sure it's nowhere near as bad as a root canal, but it was bad enough to make me want to be better about my teeth!)

I've been pretty good the last week or so, but it's not a habit yet, so I thought it might help to put a little checklist near my bathroom mirror so I can check it off. I wanted it to be reusable, and then I decided I wanted it to be cute, too! So my solution: Make a cute graphic (like the one above - yup, I made that!), and use one of my favorite teacher tricks for cheap whiteboards: Put it in a document protector and use wet/dry erase markers for the writing and checking!

Use the wet-erase marker for the habits you want to work on, and the dry-erase marker for the check marks. This way, you can erase your check marks without having to re-write your goals every day. (Of course, you could always use PicMonkey to "write" it on the image itself.)

I haven't had a chance to take a picture of it in action, but it's nothing fancy, just in the clear sheet protector. :)

Hopefully this checklist helps you keep track of your daily goals! You can do it!

What Works For Me: Healthy Changes

As I've mentioned before, I have health issues that I'm treating. One of the best ways to treat these issues is eating healthy and exercise - you know, the two things that were, like, ZERO fun for me. ;)

I'm a firm believer that people only change when they're ready, regardless of how necessary those changes may be. I notice when I'm open to the change, and I try to seize the moment. As such, I've been slowly working my way towards eating better and exercise over the last year... VERY slowly on the exercise front. Now things are starting to come together, and I'm starting to feel really great about my progress!

Don't worry, this is NOT turning into a health-based blog. (There are way better ones out there!) It's been my focus of late, though, so I needed to "blog it out". All these changes don't make me an expert, but I like to share what works for me because it might work for someone else, too! Here are the unofficial "rules" I live by which are helping me succeed at the moment:

• Start small, and find compromises when you can! This was the best advice I've read, and I wish I'd saved the blog where I found it! Specifically, the advice was to just focus on giving up something you know is bad for you for now, and as you become accustomed, try giving up another bad thing. It was easy to switch my chemical-laden coffee creamer to all-natural half-and-half (as the entry suggested), but I knew diet soda was going to be harder and I'd have to find a happy medium. My endocrinologist says stevia is ok for my dietary needs - so I've switched to Zevia-brand soda, which is the only one I've found made with stevia. I make sure to have no more than 2 a day, usually as a "treat" with my lunch and dinner. It keeps me sane, it's better for me, and I've noticed that it doesn't dehydrate me as much as other artificial sweeteners did!  
• Make the end goal reasonable. A specific measurable goal that's reasonable is good: right now my goal is to lose 5% of my body weight overall. The number on the scale is just a measurement tool, though, and it doesn't decide my overall success, especially considering my PCOS makes weight loss veeeeeery slow-going, so I don't want to make the scale my main measurement. My overall goal in this is to improve my overall health; if I only lose 2 pounds, but my endocrinologist sees an overall improvement in my numbers, I'm going to feel successful! Losing 5% of my current weight might make a marginal change in my appearance, but it will improve my overall health a LOT.
• Find the easiest way to do it. Veggies was the hardest thing to add to my diet when it hasn't been a regular part of it. So I found the easiest ways to incorporate them! Aside from the recipes I linked, I buy a big box of mixed greens and spinach for easy salads, and frozen broccoli or cauliflower that I steam in the microwave for a quick dinner side (I'll dress them with a sprinkle of salt and garlic powder). Those are veggies that I like and don't feel annoyed to eat, and that take mere minutes to prepare. I eat a big salad typically with lunch, and then veggies with dinner (If I'm feeling esp. sassy, I'll have a salad AND frozen veg with dinner!) Do the same with your health bugaboo - find the easiest way to incorporate or address it. 
• Give in to a craving - within reason. You've probably seen this before, but it's really true; if you are legitimately craving something to the point of distraction, give in and get it out of your system. BUT do it in moderation! Here are my rules for myself when it comes to cravings: I have to have thought about it for at least 3 days in a row, I don't substitute it with something that won't quell the craving, and I have to buy the smallest 1 serving amount of it that I can (and that's ALL I buy).  I love nacho cheese Doritos, but I know I can eat a whole bag in one sitting - so I keep them out of the house. If a craving hits, I'll buy the smallest 1 serving bag I can find, and I'll enjoy it. It gets the craving out of my system, I don't feel like I've deprived myself, and there's no more in the house because I only bought the 1 serving.
• When eating out, pick one indulgence.  The point of eating out, in my opinion, is to indulge. When you're trying to eat better, though, eating out often is NOT going to help. So I'm trying to eat better when I do eat out by sacrificing something or including something I might not normally. If it's a burger place, I will usually get the burger I want and sacrifice the fries for veggies instead. Yes, I'm still eating a not-great food, but I'm only eating one "naughty" element as opposed to an entire "naughty" meal, and I'm also getting my veggies in with it and the tastes that made me want to eat out in the first place.
• Don't beat yourself up over a bad day. This is the hardest truth, but it's the most important one. We're human and we're going to make mistakes. I am extremely susceptible to the "Well, I screwed up, might as well just give up entirely" attitude. So far, I've managed to get over myself and just start fresh with the next meal. For example, I'd been craving beef broccoli with fried rice from my fave local Chinese place for a week, so I indulged the other day. It was waaaay too much food, and I felt STUFFED and regretted a little. BUT I recognized that it got the craving out of my system, and I had a very reasonable dinner to make up for it. I moved on from my mistake instead of drowning in it.
• Figure out what works for YOU - you may have to switch it up until you find your best method! These are all tips that work for me: gradual small changes that add up to good health. Some people, though, can just completely turn a 180 from old habits and thrive! If that works for you, then keep on keepin' on! When something's not working, try something else. My eating changes are all manageable for me, and I can feel the change (and see it - my clothes are a little loose and friends are asking if I've lost weight). This first week of incorporating exercise is working well for me because I know what works for me and my attitudes, and I also know to not push myself, lest I hurt myself and have to stop, which will make me lose momentum; I figure as long as I break a sweat and am slightly out of breath by the end, I did my job for now. As it gets easier, I'll push myself harder. Consider your habits and your natural inclinations, and work with them, not against them.

For Foodie Friday, I'll share my eating and exercising changes, along with my favorite healthy meal ideas; this entry's long enough! Come back Wednesday for another helpful idea in making healthy habits stick!

Follow me on Twitter or Instagram to keep me accountable! I figure if I'm going to talk the talk, I better walk the walk, so I'll be posting picture collages of my meals for the day and logging my exercise! I won't spam your feeds, most likely 1-3 posts a day at the most.