5 Random Things: Religion

Let's try this again! Religion has been popping up lately, so let's do 5 random things about moi and religion.

 

Found on Tumblr, no idea the creator - if you know, tell me!

• I was baptized twice - once as a baby in a Lutheran church, and again when I was 8 and I was "saved". The second time was a Baptist church. 
• Why Lutheran the first time? Well, my parents at the time weren't religious, and my birth father still isn't. Mom was raised Lutheran, though, and he was raised Catholic and HATED it, so Lutheran was a decent compromise. Plus I suspect the idea that SIDS was fairly prevalent back in the 80's that they needed a little assurance that I'd go to heaven should I fall victim. 
• Because I was a huge book nerd even at 8 years old, my then-pastor half-joked at my baptism that I knew enough about the bible that I could take over one Sunday. I knew ALL the stories. Considering how many crazy stories there are in the bible, though, can you blame me? The children's version I had used pretty illustrations and interesting story versions that were cleaned up for child consumption, obviously, but I still knew most of them.
• I was the only middle-schooler on our youth group's bible trivia team for the summer camp we went to - and I was pretty kick-ass at it. 
• I haven't practiced any particular religion since I was 17. My reasons for doing so are my own, and it'd take too long to explain. My not being religious, however, doesn't mean I'm a hater towards religions. Christianity is not my thing, nor any other religions, but it ain't my job to tell you what to do with your life; if it makes you happy and gives you peace, then it's a good thing (unless you use your religion to judge other people's life choices - THEN you're an asshole). 

Why the thoughts on religion seemingly out of nowhere? Because The Hubs and I have been asked to be the godparents to a dear friend's 2-month-old. I KNOW, RIGHT? It's our first time being asked, and you could've knocked me over with a feather. We've agreed to do it, and the parents still want us even though I pointed out that whole "not being religious" thing; their reasoning is that while yes, we're not religious, we ARE good people, and that's just as important to them. Now I just have to hope I don't burst into flames when I enter the church. ;) Seriously, though, we're so excited and honored to do this for our friends. 

5SG: A Rough Start

Trying to be better this time around about a weekly check-in on my 5 Simple Goals for this spring.

To be brief, I did not do well. Probably because I decided to start these goals the same week I went back to work after almost two weeks off and grades were due that same week - there's always an adjustment period when school starts up again, but I always seem to think I'll be back on track like I never left.

LOL NO.

Here's the accomplishment tally:

• Workouts: 2/3 (walking workout, volleyball), but only 1 back exercises done. 
• No Night Carbs: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
• Big Chore: I did buy an organizer to help tidy up my bedroom, and Sunday I finally took care of the Xmas stuff, so I'll count this one as a win.
• Night off from electronics: Didn't happen. :(
• Nighttime routine: 2/7 nights - I was so tired when I came home, I usually crashed within a few hours, and since I didn't even make my own dinner, there wasn't lunch being made either. 

So yeah, not a great week for me. BUT that doesn't mean I can't do well this week - and to be honest, I'm quite proud of myself for getting the workouts in. I worked out Sunday morning, and I plan to do my back exercises on alternating, non-workout days. I'll try again to make the volleyball night the no-electronics night; last volleyball night was unexpectedly thrown asunder due to a scheduling snafu (that the company quickly made amends for), so in the shuffle I forgot to ignore the electronics. NEVER AGAIN (for this week).

I worry that I might have bitten off a leetle more than I can chew, so I'll be honest with myself that I feel overwhelmed. To be honest, the "no night carbs" goal because it's just HARD when I already have food issues. So I'm going to switch it for cutting back on diet soda and drink more water (which isn't as burdensome, for some reason). I'd like to try minimizing the carbs at night, though, so I WILL be mindful, but I'm just backing off it as a goal... for THIS period. I'd like to try again on the next round. I'm doing this for health - I want my body to stop being a jerk, so apparently I have to feed it good food and make it move around. JERK. I'm still working on the good food part (and to be fair, I eat healthier during the day than I do at night, so I'm not great but I'm not horrid, either), and I have to ease myself into these changes. Small changes have big results, right?

The Dream

FYI: Not my art - if you know who made this, please tell me!

With the recent disappointment in our employment situations, I've been wondering what to do next. (I'm sure The Hubs is also wondering what he's going to do, but he hasn't confided as such and I know this is an area that he's not up for being prodded.) I love what I do, and this year has honestly had my favorite students ever (in 4.5 solid years of teaching - the 0.5 being a long-term subbing job), but the general state of education and the politics (both in-school and at large) are... off-putting, to say the least. What I'm trying to decide is if it's so off-putting as to make me completely abandon the prospect of continuing in this field. At the moment, it's not, but this changes day-to-day, to be honest.

When I'm driving around, wondering what I want to happen next, this is all I tend to see:

• A decent-sized one-story house with a warm welcoming feel, an open living room/dining room, a nice big kitchen, and lots of windows/natural light in a town or city where are close to loved ones and we like the local culture
• a decent-size backyard for our dog Daisy with healthy grass and several fruit trees; when the fruit is ripe, we'll have a harvest day and all of our friends can come pick their own fruit, and I'll use the fruit to make lemonade and other tasty goodies. We'll have friends over for backyard parties and movie nights, projecting films on a bedsheet when the sun goes down
• a couple of ankle-biters running around being boogers (but they'll be OUR boogers, so it's ok that they're boogers)
• Dropping the kids off, and picking them up from school - and working somewhere part-time in-between
•  Eating a home-cooked dinner at the table, mellow music playing, as a family; Friday movie nights with the kids, cuddling under blankets and on pillows and nibbling on popcorn
• watching our kiddos playing sports or participating in theater/art classes/whatever they're interested in doing
• a craft room for me to play in, and a "man cave" for The Hubs (we'll figure it out, but we both want our own rooms somehow, hahaha)

As you can see, what I dream about isn't my career. I dream about building a life. It's weird, for the last few years with the ups and downs of my career, most of my fantasies were about being a great teacher. I feel like I finally achieved real progress towards being a great teacher this year (and was shown appreciation with a pink slip *sigh*), and I would like to continue working in the education field, but at this point in the game I'm much more concerned with moving towards the other goals I want in life - that we want in life. If I can't have the career and the home life, then I'm choosing the home life.

Now the next step is figuring out how to make that dream a reality; work still plays a part in that, obviously, we just need to figure out how to make this dream a reality. We're working on the "boogers" part, but that takes time and my body not being a jerk. The house is the next part, we just need to get my job to be more steady *sigh* and then figure out where. We're hoping next year... we hoped for THIS year, but once the pink slip was announced we knew it wasn't the best idea; knowing that the next teaching job might result in another pink slip as well is one of the factors that make looking for other work so appealing. Which is a hard fact to consider and accept when I love this job so much, but it's hindering my progress toward what else I want in life.

BUT... my life is not my job, my "job" is to live my life.Or, as Oscar Wilde put it, "I don’t want to earn my living; I want to live."

5 Simple Goals 2: Wanting to Be Better

So since my focus has shifted from being the Best Teacher Ever to being the Best Self Ever, all I can do is focus on what needs fixing. Not in a self-debilitating way (or so I hope), but my list is growing and I'm worried about getting overwhelmed. There just seems like there is so much about myself that I want to fix!

This isn't to say that I feel I'm a bad person, just... there's a lot of little things I'd like to resolved. However, I (like most human beings) struggle with a lot of change all at once. But when it feels like there's so much that needs fixing, I wonder what takes priority.

What I'd like to change:

• My level of activity (i.e., exercise)
• healthier eating
• my lack of housework
• my time spent on electronics (she wrote on her BLOG) 
• better routines, esp. a better nighttime routine

So I'm going to try another round of 4 Simple Goals again. I never really updated how the last one went (got busy), but it actually worked pretty well. I stuck with the volleyball, my crafting time increased (but wasn't once a week like I'd hoped), and I got my medicines under control. My eating fell off the wagon, and I never held the party I wanted to host (but I will next year!).

... yeah, I made this before I decided on 5 goals. Whatever, it still works.

Since there's five areas I'd like to improve, I'd like to come up with a goal for each area of change; I know it's 4, but one more isn't going to kill me, and the changes aren't that unmanageable. The "end-date" (although I aim for these to be permanent changes), or date to reassess and change/move on, will be the end of May, just over 3 months. Here are my goals!

Sometimes I Need To Remind Myself of Certain Things...

Not mine; found on Tumblr, dunno source

 The Hubs and I are in a place of discomfort. Not with each other; one nice thing about our relationship is that hardships usually make us grow closer (not that it's so unusual in other relationships, I'm sure, I'm just saying so far we've managed to bond more often than part when faced with adversity). Our discomfort is the snail's pace with which we're moving towards our mutual goals.

House? Nope.
New car for The Hubs? Nope.
Job security/career satisfaction? Nope.
Kids? Nope.

Are we close to these things? Yes, but it is slow, SLOW going, and they are baby steps. Newborn-baby-sized steps. And it's frustrating, when you feel like EVERYONE else is getting what you want and that you've earned by now.

This is a constant complaint, though. It's hard to notice the small steps and forward progress when it feels like it's at a snail's pace.

But it IS moving forward. We are repairing our credit and saving up when we can to get to a place where the house is feasible; same with the car. I'm still lacking the job security *sigh*, and The Hubs and I are both working towards career satisfaction.

The kids are a situation that... well, there's only so much we can do on our end. And to be honest, we've only done part of it. It's health-related, and we're both slackers. Personally, I'm planning to get back on the wagon (the spirit is willing, flesh is weak but starting to get a little stronger, so I'm hoping to milk it), and The Hubs will come along at his own time. One thing we've learned through the years: Never tell the other one how to go about their lifestyle change. We're too different, and we just end up annoyed with each other. So tongues are bit. So some of it is within our control, and other parts are completely outside of our effect on them.

The point of this post is to recognize and remind myself that we ARE moving forward, and there's only so much we can control. We can't choose what happens to us, but we can choose how we react to what happens to us. For example, I have no say in the decision that was made in regards to my employment. I could be a true jerk and stop putting any effort forth (and man, is it tempting); I could continue burning myself out working super-hard for a place that has already decided my hard work wasn't worth keeping me past this school year. Instead, I'm choosing to continue to forth an effort that makes sure my job is still done well enough to where I don't feel like a slacker and my students are still moving forward, but not at the sacrifice of my personal life anymore. Once the school year is over, I'll choose what I pursue from there.

I can't control my health issues (as in, that they exist), but I CAN control how my habits affect them. Hopefully what I do will make the outlook of the kids situation better.

A major way in which I've grown into an adult is letting go of that bitterness and frustration that things aren't happening for us the way we want them to, on the schedule we want them to. I take comfort and reassurance in the fact that we can recognize positive growth and change in ourselves and our lives, even if we haven't hit certain markers like The Joneses in our lives have. We will get there; in the meantime, let's work on what we have a say over and continue our forward growth. I don't believe in fate, but I believe life works out as it should, and when things aren't what we wanted, we can at least take comfort in the fact that our lives are so incredibly blessed compared to a lot of people who would gladly trade spaces with us.

The Definition of a "Romantic"

I don't consider myself a "romantic". Yes, me, the woman who just posted a Valentine's Day post about how much I love the holiday.

I love love, I love the idea of love, but I don't consider myself a "romantic".

Here's why:

• I'm not huge into romantic comedies - I like some, but my nose typically turns up at them. Same with romance novels, mushy romance movies, and soap operas. Basically, if the focus of the plot is mostly around a relationship, I'll probably turn my nose up. 
• While I loveloveLOVE The Hubs, I've seen enough relationship drama and am also the product of 3 divorces (with one of those divorces reuniting, but not without some drama in-between) to know that love is not magic and requires a helluvalot of honesty and hard work. It drives me NUTS to hear people talking about love at first sight, "true love", etc.; it's delusional, in my opinion.
• I am also not super-schmoopy - I am guilty of being physically affectionate (with The Hubs and my friends - I'm a hugger!), but when it comes to my words and verbalizing my emotions... not so great, and it kind of makes me uncomfortable. Yes, even when The Hubs says sweet things - of which he does often. If I'm in the right mood, it's lovely, but if I'm not I'm all awkward and weird. 

All that said, it surprised me when my gal pal recently told me that she considered me a "romantic". Granted, we've only known each other over the last two years (so we're still getting to know each other in some regards), so there might be just her not knowing my real opinions on love (as seen above). But maybe I am, by her personal definition.

I define a romantic as basically the opposite of everything I listed above - loves the idea of romantic love in all forms of entertainment, super-schmoopy, buys into BS like "the one", isn't happy unless they're in a relationship. I am none of those things.

My gal pal has only known me while I've been the wife to The Hubs, though, and when we're together we're pretty cuddly, and I do speak quite highly of him most of the time. So in that respect, if that's how my friend defines "romantic", then yes, I am a romantic!

As with most of life, labels are how the person defines them. I don't fit my definition of the "romantic" label, but that doesn't mean I can't be romantic to my honey. I thought I did pretty sweet for V-day; The Hubs was quite happy and felt very loved. Just because I don't consider myself a romantic doesn't necessarily mean I'm not one, nor does it mean being a romantic is a bad thing!

Happy Valentine's Day!

Ah, love. Today is the day to celebrate ALL types of love, IMHO.

As a teenager, I HATED Valentine's Day as I was a perpetually single gal (Ah, the shallowness of teenage boys *sigh*). Then, my Junior year of high school, when I was still relatively new at the school, a group of new friends included me in their Valentine's Day celebrations. It was simply giving me a card and a carnation, but it totally brightened my day and I never forgot it, and the fact that there was nothing romantic involved but I could still celebrate other people I loved. Ever since, I've enjoyed Valentine's Day as a way of celebrating EVERYONE I love! Not every year, but most years I send out Valentine cards to my family and friends. Typically my mom, my grandmas, and my best gal pals. One of these years, I'm going to organize a Galentine's Day celebration.

This year's batch of Valentine's, made by MOI

Then in 2003, Valentine's Day got a whole lot sweeter when The Hubs agreed to be my Valentine. :) We were friends and coworkers for a year and a half prior, and we'd been flirting for the last half-year when, at the end of January 2003, I worked up the nerve to ask The Hubs out. We hung out after work, and I used the smooth line of asking if he'd be my Valentine that year. He said yes, we had some beverages while watching "Chasing Amy" and making out a little. (Funny sidenote: YEARS later he admitted that when we ran into each other on campus the next day and it was kind of awkward, he was considering breaking it off with me because he didn't want to ruin our friendship. Luckily for both of us, he either thought better of it or wussed out ;D)

We still consider Valentine's Day to be our official first date, even though we were already hanging out fairly regularly by then as a couple (but we were still keeping it on the DL from our coworkers 'cuz they were a bunch of gossips, and we also were still keeping things at the make-out stage because we didn't want to rush/possibly preserve friendship if we changed our minds). Our date was a movie followed by dinner cooked by me! The movie was "Daredevil"; the reason for choosing THAT gem was due to me being a huge fan of the comic book and having high hopes for the movie (which they did NOT meet). Man, The Hubs still hasn't let me live that down. The movie was a dud, but the meal was NOT.

I tried this recipe for the first time because it was easy and sounded good. Luckily it was both, and to this day it is The Hubs' favorite meal that I cook. I've made it so often that I actually have the recipe memorized. It's called Gourmet Chicken, and to be honest it's not gourmet but it's quite rich and tasty.

This V-day will be our 10th V-day together! The Hubs has requested his favorite dish to commemorate the occasion, and I am gladly obliging. I'll also be making chocolate fondue for dessert with pound cake and strawberries for dippin'. And, of course, sparkling wine! Yum! For my V-day gift to him, I bought us tickets to our local minor-league professional hockey team, which we'll go to on Saturday. Whooo!

If you're curious for the recipe for Gourmet Chicken, here it is!

5 Random Things

The weird thing about trying to have a public blog and a public profession (let's face it, esp. in an age of social media, teachers are always under public scrutiny) is that I'm not nearly as open online as I used to be, and DEFINITELY not as open as I am in real life. So there's stuff about my life that I rarely ever mention on here - partly out of that "No incriminating details" credo, but also because it rarely comes up!

Plus it'd be fun to occasionally post 5 random things, either about myself or whatever theme I can come up with. Of course, I've tried this "regular theme posts" idea before so I'm not committing to anything yet, but it's certainly an idea to try and run with.

So here's my first 5 random things: 5 random facts about me!

1. I'm not much of a collector, but I do actually have two collections: Shot glasses and Kinder Surprise toys. Shot glasses because I like souvenirs but most are tacky tchotckes, so this is a way to buy something to remember the trip while also having something functional and not that space-consuming. Kinder Surprise toys because I first read about them in JANE magazine, and was utterly fascinated that there was a chocolate with little toys inside them that I would never be able to purchase because apparently the USA FDA doesn't trust American consumers enough to NOT EAT THE PLASTIC EGG INSIDE. It was so insipid that I HAD to obtain one. Now it's another go-to souvenir, this time from friends and family who travel out of the country! The toys are usually pretty damn cool, too, although I lost my favorite one ever - a break-dancer who stood on his head, and the head had a magnet in it that made him spin when his magnetic boombox got close to him. Yeah, it was awesome. I still miss it.
   

   

   My shot glasses!

2. This Valentine's Day will be my 10th Valentine's Day with The Hubs! More on that Thursday or Friday, including the not-super-romantic-but-still-amusing history of our first V-day.
3. My feet are weird. Well, re-phrase: The actual part that constitutes the foot is fine, I even have lovely high arches that I think make them kind of pretty (you know, for feet). I have two weird toes, though. One of my big toes had two ingrowns, one on each side of the toe, and to fix it growth inhibitor was placed on both of those sides, and now it grows in kind of weird. It's not hideous to look at, but it is weird and slightly noticeable (if you look for it). The other weird toe is the "pointer" toe that's ever-so-slightly longer than my big toe and its twin on the other foot. It's like an eighth of an inch difference between the two toes, but it's enough to weird me out!
4. My favorite childhood cartoon of all time is "Jem and the Holograms". BEST. SHOW. EVER. I seriously had almost every doll and outfit they made for this show, including the new members when they came out - I never owned Shaina or Pizazz, but I did own several of the Jem variations. Yes, yes, envy me. My mom loved the dolls, too, and used the excuse of their having more realistic body proportions to buy them for me. Man, I miss those dolls, so much that I don't even care that the show was basically created to market the dolls and most of the plots don't make any sense. BEST SHOW EVER!
   

   

   It depresses me that this show hasn't had a resurgence yet, and "My Little Pony" HAS.

5. I have a weird penchant for bad Meryl Streep movies. Like, seriously, I love "She-Devil" (which I'm watching on Netflix as I type) and "Death Becomes Her". All my high-falutin' tastes are complete B.S., give me a cheesy Meryl Streep movie any day.
   
   
   
    

Vacation/Fat Tuesday!

I actually have nothing of relevance to state for Fat Tuesday, I just didn't want to have "Vacation" be my subject again. I'm already fat, it's not like the day of the week makes any difference. ;D

So yesterday I managed to get the groceries purchased and finish the valentines - you know, the fun stuff. It didn't help that my partner-in-laziness stayed home from work yesterday due to his back being in mucho pain-o, which never helps me get stuff done; I don't know why, but my brain goes into weekend mode when he stays home on a weekday (or I stay home on a weekday - but I usually only do that when I'm legitimately sick so I'm useless anyway). He was understanding and didn't make me feel bad, though, which was nice. Still, there's SO MUCH I feel I need to do.

I also had a realization of why I feel so overwhelmed with stuff to accomplish versus lack of desire to do stuff around the house/wanting to be out of the house: I HATE being home. Well, let me rephrase: I hate being home when it's because I have nothing else to do. Home is a place for rest and comfort, not the center of my world. Which isn't to hate on anyone else who stays at home for their job/SAHM, it's just not me. I need to feel like I have a reason to leave the house, and that people need me somewhere. Which explains why I feel so lost on vacation and when I'm unemployed - I'm supposed to relax at home, but there's all these responsibilities that the home requires, too, which is off-putting (yeah, I've never been a fan of chores); it's different doing chores when I've been busy all week and it's making my home better so I can relax in it/have friends over to socialize. When chores are the ONLY goal of the day, it makes me shut down.

Ok, I realize how whiny this sounds, but the main point is that I'm finally realizing what the hell the problem is, so I need to figure out how to combat this issue when I'm unemployed again this summer. I might be using the local library and coffee shops as my "office" when I'm job-hunting so I have a reason to get out of the house, then chores can be a PART of my "busy day" again.

ANYWAY. Today I really do want to get some laundry and the dishes done, and to also clean off the dining room table/psuedo-craft area so it's V-day ready. Tomorrow will be more laundry and an attempt to reorganize my craft desk (It's a DISASTER), and maybe treating myself to a movie. Off we go!

Vacation!

It's an unpaid forced vacation, but it's still vacation, whoooo!

Back finally better, I was even able to play in the last volleyball game! I also signed up for volleyball again, which was super-exciting. It starts next week, AND one of the players from my last team ended up on my new team! It's reassuring to have someone along for the ride, so to speak.

I've been off since Friday (yes, I'm totally spoiled - one big perk of being a teacher), and I will confess that I spent most of the first 3 days doing jack. It was so relaxing and wonderful, but now I'm like AW CRAP MUST DO ALL THE THINGS! I have so much I want to do this week, and at the same time I feel like I need to RELAAAAAX 'cuz I'm so... stressed out? I'm not, really, and there's stuff I need to get done, so I'm going to DO ALL THE THINGS! (I type this, of course, sitting in my pj's and unshowered.) I'm still planning to stick to the list I made last time, and I've already started chipping away at the laundry and making valentines! I'm also looking forward to all the cooking I'm going to do - homemade dinners at night! I've been cooking more lately now that my back's not being a jerk, so it's not like it's a whole new experience or anything; it's just nice to feel like I have the time and energy for such things. Y'know? Even though I'm not THAT busy during the week, I still feel insanely busy, which is really annoying.

Considering how awful my job has gotten, having a break right now is perfect timing. Hopefully I can go back with a better attitude to get me through the rest of the school year. Still not sure what I want to do, though, after the school year. Right now I'm focused on making my job JUST a job and getting back in touch with my life. One way I'm getting back in touch with life is to make a nice Valentine's dinner for The Hubs and myself; I'm actually really excited for it! It feels good to focus on stuff outside of work.

On that note, time to focus on stuff! DO ALL THE THINGS! Today's agenda: Groceries, finish the dishes, 2 loads of laundry, and finish/mail off my valentines! Maybe I'll come back and report on today's success/update with tomorrow's agenda, too.

When My Back Gets Better...

My back is feeling MARGINALLY better (and regardless of its status, I'm still going into work tomorrow *sigh*), but it's just painful enough that I decided to stay home and rest it rather than attend the all-day poker/Super Bowl party our friend had (The Hubs went, of course, because his team was playing for the first time since he was a KID! Unfortunately, it didn't end well for his team). So my day was super-boring - 3 days straight at home=SUPER BORED OMG. Work will be a RELIEF. (Plus we have a bunch of furlough days next week so I just need to make it until Friday if my back's being a huge jerk.)

Also, tomorrow is my volleyball league's last game - I've missed the last two and I still don't think I can play. *sigh* I'm going to go watch/grab a drink with them afterwards, 'cuz this is my only season playing with them as they're playing ultimate frisbee next season. =( Figure it's better to at least say goodbye in person than avoid the game. But since the next season starts in 2 weeks and this back is taking 2+ weeks to heal, I'm avoiding next season and will join up again in summer. Still, SO FRUSTRATING. Hopefully I will get myself in better shape by the next season. Just more disappointment to add to the recent ones. :(

So to motivate myself to get happy and get better, here's a list of stuff I plan to throw myself into when my back is feeling better:

• Valentine's Day! I actually had enough personal money to surprise my husband with a nice V-day activity (which will benefit me also) - our local minor league hockey tickets against the SF Bulls (which feeds into the SJ Sharks)! I wish I could afford Sharks tickets, but gas + time to get down there alone make the cost prohibitive, let alone tickets for the cheap seats! Hopefully it's the though that counts. This doesn't include making his favorite meal for Valentine's day itself (the game is the Saturday afterwards); Valentine's Day is a big deal for us because it was our first date (cliche', I know) and I made his favorite meal on that date. :)
• I might also make some V-day cards for my grandmas, as I like to do. :) I'll certainly have the time with the furlough break, whoo-hoo!
• Making our dining room table an actual table. It's a clutter catch-all, and I'd like us to start taking time to eat at our table together. That means I need to make it more appealing to eat there. :)
• Cleaning up my craft area/FINALLY putting away our (artificial) Xmas tree. Yes, it's still up. Yes, we're lame. HEY, my back's been out!
• Catching up on our laundry because OMG IT'S INSANE. 

Aside from laundry, these are all things I'm looking forward to. I just need my back to STOP BEING A BITCH DAMMIT. ARGH.

Stagnant

(Or: Samantha and the terrible, horrible, no good, very bad week.)

It's been a ROUGH week. My job happiness lowered significantly *ugh*, The Hubs received some disappointing news at his job (but to be fair, we're STILL employed which is always a good thing), then I ended my work week a day early when Thursday I was so sick that The Hubs had to come pick me up at work (my car's still parked at my work's parking lot)! I stayed home Friday (obvs), and through self-diagnosis I think it was a mild form of bubonic plague. However, this bug somehow made my already-in-pain back feel a million times worse somehow, so I've been physically ill and injured. Insult AND injury. It was a fitting way to end a crap-tastic week.

However, I was able to shower this morning, and DayQuil helped get me through most of today but groggy. I haven't left the house in almost 2 days. I wanted to today, but my back was actually the bigger jerk (which convinced me to take some pain meds, which FINALLY gave me some relief... for about 4 hours before knocking me out, I'm a real wimp when it comes to anything stronger than a cocktail). I had plans to catch up on some work at my room, then meet my mom nearby for lunch/shopping, but I could tell neither of those were going to happen. Cute mom moment: I called, she answered, and all I had to say was "Hi Mom" and she replies, "OH NO! You poor thing!" She knows my sick voice that well, hahaha. Forever a mom, I guess, even when your "baby" is 30+ years old.

So due to all this back pain/work pain/illness has completely de-motivated me to make my life the focus of improvement. Which is fine, if a little frustrating because I can't do it for circumstances beyond my control. Just need to let my body heal, blah blah blah, hippie voodoo mottos, etc.

It would be really nice for my back to stop being a jerk so I can get on with my life. Which all I mean is that I want to get back to focusing on the good stuff in life and being more active. Which in this case means "off my butt and playing volleyball/walking my dog/anything other than sitting & lying down". UGH.

This week is a new week. I'm feeling better and I hope this week will go better.