A Home-making post? On a blog that claims to be about housewifery? That even calls itself "Hot Mess HOUSEWIFE"?!? Blasphemy!
I'm just as shocked as you are.
I will never claim to be a master chef, 'cuz I'm NOT. I can cook, though. The Hubs even admits that one of the things that "sealed the deal" for him was that I can cook as well as, if not occasionally better than, his mom. And she has some tasty dishes in her arsenal. (My MIL even claims that I roasted the best turkey she's ever tasted! THAT was a huge compliment.) I'm not quite at the point where I can make my own recipes, but I alter a lot of them to my own needs, and generally improve them. I think I'm getting to the point where I should just stop being a big weenie and give it a shot.
But that's not the point of this post. The point of this is to "pass it on", in the sense that I love reading "housewifery" blogs because they are full of great tips and recipes. I hoard recipes - if they did an "internet Hoarders" special, I'd probably get an intervention and take up most of the hour. But yeah, so I figure I should share what strategies work for me - like I do with recipes, I've mixed and molded ideas to figure out what works for me. I've gotten my rhythm in some areas, but I'm still playing around in others.
One area I've found my rhythm is the feeding of our tiny family, for the most part. Yes, there was a 2-week gap between meal plans recently, if you noticed my meal plan side-bar not changing... it's been crazy around here, schedule-wise. I'm working as a temp, and my current position requires a nearly 2-hour commute each way. I'm compensated quite nicely for it, but it's EXHAUSTING. The job is off and on - over the summer, it averaged about one week "on" every 3 weeks, but it's picked up lately to where I'm working every week, and almost every other week is a commuting week (the rest of the time is local). So as it started happening more frequently, I started seeking out and cooking more recipes that could freeze well. The Hubs and I would eat one serving, and any leftovers were wrapped up tight and thrown in the freezer.
Now, as long as I remember to take the food out of the freezer the night before, I can come home, microwave the food for 10 minutes, and have a hot home-cooked meal that is instantly comforting. Plus The Hubs is happily fed and we aren't wasting money on fast food.
Some of my favorite meals to cook now and freeze for later:
Enchilada Casserole
Slow-Cooker Creamy Italian Chicken
Chili (I don't have a link for the recipe, it's my friend's recipe)
Taco Soup (I prefer it without the tomatoes, and I add black beans)
Also, I like to freeze the components that mix to make great meals, like my Burrito Bowls (shown below). They are DELICIOUS, and cheaper to make than to buy at Chipotle!
Carnitas Burrito Bowl (like "Chipotle"!)
To cook:
Cilantro-lime rice (recipe)
Black beans (canned or cooked from dried - I'm lazy, I use canned), warmed in their "juice" in a sauce pan.
Carnitas (recipe below)
Layer the rice, beans, and carnitas into a bowl. Add toppings like cheese, sour cream, salsa, etc. Nom the S*** out of it, it's freakin' delicious.
My carnitas recipe (modified from various other recipes) - if you're cooking for a small family, this recipe halves easily and works just as well!
- 4-5 lbs. Pork shoulder or Pork roast (I prefer pork shoulder, but pork roast is less fatty)
- 2 tsps. cumin
- 2 tsps. garlic powder
- 2 tsps.salt
- 3 cups beef broth
Cut your pork into huge chunks (about 2"x2" at the biggest). Mix up all the spices and rub the pork chunks with the spice mixture.
Pour the beef broth into a 4-quart (or bigger!) slow-cooker. Lower the chunks into the broth, cover, and cook on LOW for 8-10 hours or on HIGH for 4-5 hours. (I've done high with no problems, but my slow-cooker cooks a little fast.)
Preheat your oven to 450 degrees F towards the end of your cooking time. Once the pork chunks are done, take them out of the broth and shred them however you prefer. (I use two forks, old-school.) As meat's shredded, put it back in the broth so it stays juicy. With all your meat shredded, put it in a baking pan, spread out, and spoon some more broth on the meat. The meat should be wet, but it SHOULDN'T be swimming in broth. Place the pan in the oven and let it cook for 15-25 minutes; this crisps the meat up a little and enriches the flavor of the meat. (You can skip this step if you want, but the carnitas taste AMAZING after you bake 'em for a little!)
To Freeze:
- Rice - Let the rice cool to at least lukewarm. I put it in plastic zipper sandwich bags, about 2 cups per bag.
- Beans - again, let cool to lukewarm, and put it in plastic zipper sandwich bags, about 1 cup per bag (or one big bag if you're not doing individual servings), with some of the "bean juice" from the can.
- Carnitas - 3rd verse, same as the first! Let them cool to "warm" temperature, baggie it up - only change is to ADD SOME MORE BROTH. It'll help the carnitas stay juicy when you warm them up later.
To Reheat:
- The night before, put beans and carnitas in fridge. LEAVE THE RICE FROZEN UNTIL ABOUT TO EAT.
- Warm up the rice in the bag for about 30 seconds, just to make it more pliable, then transfer to a bowl, cover the bowl with plastic wrap (making sure it's not touching the food). Nuke 2 more minutes, stirring once. Add defrosted beans, warm covered 1 more minute.
- Warm up carnitas w/ liquid in another bowl for 1-1:30 minutes, covered in plastic wrap. Top rice and beans with carnitas, and add desired toppings like the first time.
TA-DA! Delicious dinner that lasts for two meals!
Wednesday, October 26, 2011
Monday, October 24, 2011
Missing Halloween
Halloween was never a major holiday for me growing up, or at least it was never consciously a big holiday. I mean, sure, it was FUN - you get to dress up, you say magic words and are rewarded for your efforts with "Oh how cute!" and free sugar. Who WOULDN'T like that? Plus I was fortunate in that my Halloween was never ruined by having the crap scared out of me. I don't like being scared... had that happened, I would probably hate Halloween now.
I kept up the shenanigans for a little while into junior high... by mid-High school, though, I had stopped bothering, but I was bummed we didn't get more trick-or-treaters. As a costumes person, I enjoyed seeing the great ideas people came up with more than anything.
In college, the town in which I attended school had a rather notorious reputation when it came to Halloween (if you live in Nor Cal, you can probably guess which school I'm referring to). I indulged for a year or two, but the shenanigans were crazy in good ways and in personal-safety-being-threatened ways, so going out lost its sparkle once the cops were on every street corner to maintain order. Not fun for the people who weren't causing any of the trouble. (My favorite costume I wore in college: Frat Boy from Ay Phelta Thi. Totally pulled it off, too!)
As I got older and settled into married life with The Hubs (also not a big Halloween guy), Halloween has become one of a few non-Holidays that just don't matter as much when you're a childless adult. Now that I'm of an age where we're prepping for children to enter the picture (hopefully) soonish, though, I notice more and more I want Halloween to be a bigger deal. The last time I dressed up was 2009, which was also the last time I had plans. It was a blast! All we did was hang with some friends and hand out candy, but I loved it! Loved the costume-wearing, loved the kids and parents walking by, and looked forward to the next year!
Unfortunately, next year didn't happen... I'd even started prepping a costume, but no plans formed! Plus we don't really have any kids in our apartment complex, so we don't even get to see little kids in their costumes. =( This year is shaping up to be similar, which bums me out. (I had a GREAT costume figured out for The Hubs that he FINALLY agreed to - and now no plans! LAME.) I planned to still at least decorate a LITTLE for the holiday, making a wreath for the door and carving a small pumpkin, but my temp work picked up in the last few weeks and I haven't had the time. So another Halloween looks like it will pass by without my participation. Again, I'm so bummed!
I understand that this is a holiday aimed at kids, but it's still fun to participate in the festivities on a more grown-up level. It's trickier for adults when the day falls on a weekday, as the weekend is when we can best celebrate if we don't have children.
Oh well. There's always next year, right? Right. In the meantime, I've made a GREAT Pinterest board with all sorts of cute ideas (and some ideas I can still use for Turkey Day), and I'll turn my attention to the end-of-the-year holidays, including my FAVORITE one: Christmas!
Oh, and because my last official costume was the SHIZ, here it is: Roller Derby Girl!
I kept up the shenanigans for a little while into junior high... by mid-High school, though, I had stopped bothering, but I was bummed we didn't get more trick-or-treaters. As a costumes person, I enjoyed seeing the great ideas people came up with more than anything.
In college, the town in which I attended school had a rather notorious reputation when it came to Halloween (if you live in Nor Cal, you can probably guess which school I'm referring to). I indulged for a year or two, but the shenanigans were crazy in good ways and in personal-safety-being-threatened ways, so going out lost its sparkle once the cops were on every street corner to maintain order. Not fun for the people who weren't causing any of the trouble. (My favorite costume I wore in college: Frat Boy from Ay Phelta Thi. Totally pulled it off, too!)
As I got older and settled into married life with The Hubs (also not a big Halloween guy), Halloween has become one of a few non-Holidays that just don't matter as much when you're a childless adult. Now that I'm of an age where we're prepping for children to enter the picture (hopefully) soonish, though, I notice more and more I want Halloween to be a bigger deal. The last time I dressed up was 2009, which was also the last time I had plans. It was a blast! All we did was hang with some friends and hand out candy, but I loved it! Loved the costume-wearing, loved the kids and parents walking by, and looked forward to the next year!
Unfortunately, next year didn't happen... I'd even started prepping a costume, but no plans formed! Plus we don't really have any kids in our apartment complex, so we don't even get to see little kids in their costumes. =( This year is shaping up to be similar, which bums me out. (I had a GREAT costume figured out for The Hubs that he FINALLY agreed to - and now no plans! LAME.) I planned to still at least decorate a LITTLE for the holiday, making a wreath for the door and carving a small pumpkin, but my temp work picked up in the last few weeks and I haven't had the time. So another Halloween looks like it will pass by without my participation. Again, I'm so bummed!
I understand that this is a holiday aimed at kids, but it's still fun to participate in the festivities on a more grown-up level. It's trickier for adults when the day falls on a weekday, as the weekend is when we can best celebrate if we don't have children.
Oh well. There's always next year, right? Right. In the meantime, I've made a GREAT Pinterest board with all sorts of cute ideas (and some ideas I can still use for Turkey Day), and I'll turn my attention to the end-of-the-year holidays, including my FAVORITE one: Christmas!
Oh, and because my last official costume was the SHIZ, here it is: Roller Derby Girl!
 |
| My number was 666; my Christian parents were less than pleased with that choice, but my mom still thought I looked adorable ;D |
Wednesday, October 19, 2011
30 AFTER 30: I can't stop gazing at my navel...
I didn't hit the 30 before 30, but I got about halfway! Which is something! It got me posting again, if nothing else. =) Either way, I'm ok with myself.
You guys. YOU GUYS. Seriously, my navel? Most fascinating thing in the world.
This is my sarcastic way of saying I'm going to indulge in some navel-gazin' up in this beezy. Apologies in advance if you're not interested.
What's on my mind lately:
1. I'm 30! No one died! In fact, things are fairly swell. I'm keeping busy (in ways that get me paid and in ways that don't but I'm having fun), I'm socially active, and for the most part I'm happy. For having been 30 a whole 5 days, it's off to a decent start, considering. If anything, I'm noticing that I'm not working as hard to hate on myself anymore because I'm too flippin' old and it's EXHAUSTING to expend so much energy hating myself; I'd rather be lazy and just accept that I'm awesome in some ways and not-as-awesome in other ways... but that it all averages out to fairly neat-o. =D
2. I am in LOVE with our apartment. It's finally become a home. I don't know why I waited to so long to finally decorate and "move in", so to speak - we've lived here 5 years! (YES, 5, and I've JUST decorated in the last few months!) Actually, considering how we WERE living in it 5 years ago to how we're living in it now shows a ton of growth on our part and I'm super-proud of ourselves for being such "grown-ups" about it. Truth be told, it's a great motivator to clean 'cuz we love how the place looks clean; I came home from my job interview today and did some tidy-up chores instead of hopping on the computer. I felt like such a grown-up! I'll do a post showing off all my hard decorating work soon. But, yeah, I love it and it makes me happy to come home. =D I even want to have friends over, now that I feel like it's hospitable for hosting!
3. 'Cuz I can't have EVERYTHING going well... I have something gnawing at me and I need some advice. I have no intention of this blog becoming SUPER-personal, but sometimes I want/need to talk things out in a public place. No details, no names, and I'm hoping to NOT be one-sided towards myself as much as possible if I'm asking for advice. Like I am now.
Here's the deal: as I may have mentioned in passing, I turned 30 last Friday. In my melancholy towards my birthday and the fact that a fair amount of people I love weren't coming to help me celebrate (they all had valid reasons, but it still hurt my feelings - but I knew it was all in my head and that I'm a big ol' drama queen sometimes), I hid my birthday on Facebook to see how many of my so-called "friends" would remember. To be honest, a decent amount did - I expected maybe 20 people would remember it was my actual birthday, and 15 did (the day of or the day after), so I'll take it. =)
Two people that I consider good friends, though, didn't say anything. Text, email, phone call, NOTHING. In fact, they still haven't. And I am incredibly hurt by this. I'm not expecting a gift or a card, but a simple acknowledgement on the day would have made me felt loved in return... and the fact that it's been almost a week and I still haven't received an apology stings so much more. Because I still haven't heard anything from either person, it's still eating at me.
Now, one of these people is someone that I could interact with possibly soon as there have been prior arrangements made. Previously, we had a situation come up where he unintentionally hurt my feelings, and rather than pout and make passive-aggressive/bitchy comments towards him (as is my tendency when I'm feeling hurt), I took the 5 minutes to calmly let him know what exactly had hurt my feelings and that I figured it was unintentional, but I had to get it out so I could NOT make passive-aggressive/bitchy comments towards him. He took it, he apologized, we were fine! I actually was glad I got my feelings out in a mature way and in a way that didn't immediately put my friend on the defensive. (Of course, now he's on my s***-list for the birthday thing...)
I kind of want to address it with both people in this same way, but I feel like that's rude. I don't want to bitch them out (OK, that's a TOTAL lie, I totally want to bitch them out but I WON'T), but who goes up to someone and says, "Hey, you hurt my feelings because you didn't acknowledge my birthday and I wanted to let you know you hurt me"? At the same time, the passive-aggressive bitch in me wants to ignore any contact from them to punish them, but when has that worked with ANYONE in the HISTORY of time? My suddenly cutting off contact isn't a punishment for them so much as it is for me, and they'll sit there wondering why I'm ignoring them without any explanation - or being given the chance to redeem themselves (if they even want to in the first place).
I'm fairly certain, knowing both guys (yes, they're both boys), that it's more of an oversight than it is a deliberate snub. Part of me IS afraid that it WAS deliberate and that I'M the one not getting the hint... but I'm somewhat certain that's just my own insecurities talking. Mostly certain. Kind of certain? I don't know. THIS IS SO CONFUSING.
So if YOU were in the situation (either as the offended or the offending party), what would you do? Would you want to know that you hurt the feelings of a friend if it was unintentional, as long as they told you nicely as opposed to calling you names and shouting? Or would you rather not know and let them make snippy comments at you? HELP ME!
You guys. YOU GUYS. Seriously, my navel? Most fascinating thing in the world.
This is my sarcastic way of saying I'm going to indulge in some navel-gazin' up in this beezy. Apologies in advance if you're not interested.
What's on my mind lately:
1. I'm 30! No one died! In fact, things are fairly swell. I'm keeping busy (in ways that get me paid and in ways that don't but I'm having fun), I'm socially active, and for the most part I'm happy. For having been 30 a whole 5 days, it's off to a decent start, considering. If anything, I'm noticing that I'm not working as hard to hate on myself anymore because I'm too flippin' old and it's EXHAUSTING to expend so much energy hating myself; I'd rather be lazy and just accept that I'm awesome in some ways and not-as-awesome in other ways... but that it all averages out to fairly neat-o. =D
2. I am in LOVE with our apartment. It's finally become a home. I don't know why I waited to so long to finally decorate and "move in", so to speak - we've lived here 5 years! (YES, 5, and I've JUST decorated in the last few months!) Actually, considering how we WERE living in it 5 years ago to how we're living in it now shows a ton of growth on our part and I'm super-proud of ourselves for being such "grown-ups" about it. Truth be told, it's a great motivator to clean 'cuz we love how the place looks clean; I came home from my job interview today and did some tidy-up chores instead of hopping on the computer. I felt like such a grown-up! I'll do a post showing off all my hard decorating work soon. But, yeah, I love it and it makes me happy to come home. =D I even want to have friends over, now that I feel like it's hospitable for hosting!
3. 'Cuz I can't have EVERYTHING going well... I have something gnawing at me and I need some advice. I have no intention of this blog becoming SUPER-personal, but sometimes I want/need to talk things out in a public place. No details, no names, and I'm hoping to NOT be one-sided towards myself as much as possible if I'm asking for advice. Like I am now.
Here's the deal: as I may have mentioned in passing, I turned 30 last Friday. In my melancholy towards my birthday and the fact that a fair amount of people I love weren't coming to help me celebrate (they all had valid reasons, but it still hurt my feelings - but I knew it was all in my head and that I'm a big ol' drama queen sometimes), I hid my birthday on Facebook to see how many of my so-called "friends" would remember. To be honest, a decent amount did - I expected maybe 20 people would remember it was my actual birthday, and 15 did (the day of or the day after), so I'll take it. =)
Two people that I consider good friends, though, didn't say anything. Text, email, phone call, NOTHING. In fact, they still haven't. And I am incredibly hurt by this. I'm not expecting a gift or a card, but a simple acknowledgement on the day would have made me felt loved in return... and the fact that it's been almost a week and I still haven't received an apology stings so much more. Because I still haven't heard anything from either person, it's still eating at me.
Now, one of these people is someone that I could interact with possibly soon as there have been prior arrangements made. Previously, we had a situation come up where he unintentionally hurt my feelings, and rather than pout and make passive-aggressive/bitchy comments towards him (as is my tendency when I'm feeling hurt), I took the 5 minutes to calmly let him know what exactly had hurt my feelings and that I figured it was unintentional, but I had to get it out so I could NOT make passive-aggressive/bitchy comments towards him. He took it, he apologized, we were fine! I actually was glad I got my feelings out in a mature way and in a way that didn't immediately put my friend on the defensive. (Of course, now he's on my s***-list for the birthday thing...)
I kind of want to address it with both people in this same way, but I feel like that's rude. I don't want to bitch them out (OK, that's a TOTAL lie, I totally want to bitch them out but I WON'T), but who goes up to someone and says, "Hey, you hurt my feelings because you didn't acknowledge my birthday and I wanted to let you know you hurt me"? At the same time, the passive-aggressive bitch in me wants to ignore any contact from them to punish them, but when has that worked with ANYONE in the HISTORY of time? My suddenly cutting off contact isn't a punishment for them so much as it is for me, and they'll sit there wondering why I'm ignoring them without any explanation - or being given the chance to redeem themselves (if they even want to in the first place).
I'm fairly certain, knowing both guys (yes, they're both boys), that it's more of an oversight than it is a deliberate snub. Part of me IS afraid that it WAS deliberate and that I'M the one not getting the hint... but I'm somewhat certain that's just my own insecurities talking. Mostly certain. Kind of certain? I don't know. THIS IS SO CONFUSING.
 |
| Found this on Pinterest, don't know source, I didn't make it - but it's SO fitting. |
So if YOU were in the situation (either as the offended or the offending party), what would you do? Would you want to know that you hurt the feelings of a friend if it was unintentional, as long as they told you nicely as opposed to calling you names and shouting? Or would you rather not know and let them make snippy comments at you? HELP ME!
Friday, October 14, 2011
30 Before 30: Ch-ch-ch-changes
All right, time for the "How I've grown in the last 30 years" post. I promise I'll resist the urge to get TOO maudlin. If anything, this post is mainly only of interest to ME, but I still feel it's necessary to recognize how I've changed (for better and for worse) if only to note what needs work and where I'm a-ok.
Of course, the most awkward part of these kinds of entries is where, exactly, to begin. I mean, compared to 29 years and 363 days ago, I've changed a LOT. Now I walk, I talk, I usually don't soil myself. ;D So at what point am I measuring from? Let's say 18. I was technically an adult starting then, at least according to the law, so let's figure out how I've changed since then.
For all my quibbling and mock-crying over getting older, I'm actually looking forward to the next decade. My frustration over this impending birthday had more to do with my perfectionist, over-achieving nature; I had a mental list of things to do before I was 30, and to be honest, a good chunk of them are still unchecked, which eats at me. (I'm slowly making my peace with it... slooooooowly. Can't do anything about it now, I'm turning 30 on Friday whether I like it or not.) The number has never been the issue; to be honest, when I look back on my 20's, the memories are more grimace-inducing than smile-bringing. There's a lot of hurt and (self)hate back there. So I'm looking forward to moving into a new decade as a hopefully fitter, better, happier, more productive me, and my attitude towards the mental checklist is that just because I didn't achieve it before my 30th birthday doesn't mean I can't still achieve it in general.
Besides, I've got 10 years until I'm 40, and EVERYONE knows that's when your life is REALLY over, right? ;D (KIDDING.)
Of course, the most awkward part of these kinds of entries is where, exactly, to begin. I mean, compared to 29 years and 363 days ago, I've changed a LOT. Now I walk, I talk, I usually don't soil myself. ;D So at what point am I measuring from? Let's say 18. I was technically an adult starting then, at least according to the law, so let's figure out how I've changed since then.
- I'm BETTER about giving too much of myself: I say "better" because it's still a natural tendency to give, give, give - and then be butt-hurt when people take, take, take without returning. However, not only do I not give AS much anymore, I've smartened up and don't associate with "takers" nearly as much as I used to. There's still always one or two irresistible "takers" that I can't quite quit hanging around, but I fully accept my own implicit behavior in those relationships (and the resulting butt-hurtedness). I've also gotten better about not just letting the "takers" continue to take without saying something... still figuring out the best METHOD for getting my point across, though. One method I've stopped using, however, is...
- Being passive-aggressive: Oh, sweet, sweet passive-aggressive behavior. You're non-confrontational, you make me feel better, and... you are either completely lost on people or completely maddening on people. Yeah. It had to stop. I can thank an old friend L. for putting a stop to THIS behavior, when she called me on my bullshit when I aired my grievances in the form of a letter. She was right, that's lame. If I'm upset, I need to ball up and say it to their face. Ignoring the reality-show cliche' of that phrase, it's hard but it's the best method - as long as I'm doing it when I can be mostly calm and not impassioned with righteous anger or overly-dramatic hurt. I won't lie, though, the urge to post vague, drama-queen-like comments on Twitter or Facebook still lurks, but I hate READING them, so I sure as hell won't give in and POST them.
- Drama Queen, thy name is no longer Samantha: Oh my goodness, so many bad decisions were made due to my drama-queen nature. SO SO MANY. It's painful, and too personal, to give examples, but longtime friends know just how bad some of those decisions were. I blame my intrinsic love of DRAMA and the need to punish myself for whatever reason on most of those decisions. I was an emotional flagellant for far too long because I thought it made life exciting... and it did, but it also made life miserable.So many years wasted feeling bad about myself. (I know I still put myself down a lot, but I used to be WORSE, if you can believe it.) Hindsight is 20/20, and I'm proud to say that I can now recognize my own negative contributions to those situations (aside from poor choices in the first place) and share the blame, but oh, the addictive drama of those situations... so good. So painful. So "THIS is what it's like to LIVE" being my overarching attitude towards things, which is fairly typical of young twenty-somethings. I mistook pain for passion, and passion was my main motivator for too many of my actions. Oh man, I shake my head SO HARD sometimes.
- I wasted too much time: There are so many things I could have done in the last 10 years, but I wasted too much time waiting for life to start. Again, Hindsight=20/20, but I bemoaned my life's lot rather than working to change what I was dealing with. I have a nasty tendency to give into the gloom too easily, and I'm glad I've finally gotten sick of doing so. I still have my bad days, but at least they're becoming a bad DAY as opposed to a bad WEEK or MONTH, like it used to be. Still, though, I try not to think about how much farther I could be in certain areas if I hadn't been my own worst enemy... I can't change what's already happened, so I can't punish myself for lost opportunities; I can only work on not losing opportunities in the future.
- I've actually learned a thing or two:I'd say one of the best things I've learned in my life, that has made most of my relationships SO MUCH EASIER on myself, is that you can't control people. Yes, that probably seems so obvious, and yet most people still obsess on all the things that bug them about their loved ones and that they wish they could change. Once you accept that you can't change people and that you can't force them to do what you THINK they should do, oh man, it's like Atlas putting the world down for a minute and taking a breather. Making that peace with that constant desire to force the other person into the box you want them in gave me so much free time! I'm still susceptible to it (I'm human, after all), but I'll usually manage to remind myself that I can't change them, but I can choose how I react to them... and doing so usually results in my feeling mostly better. (I can control my own actions towards them, but I can't magically erase any hurt feelings they cause.)
- The best things remain the same: I don't know how it happened, but I have seen growth in the areas of myself that I like best. I find myself to be funnier, smarter, more talented in my select areas, and more kind and giving (in the good way) than I was when I was younger. I've always been mature and responsible to an extent, but especially lately I've recognized in myself that there has been marked improvement in those areas as well. I credit this to a natural progression, as well as a small boost in overall confidence thanks to many people who love me deciding they were sick of me decrying my own awesomeness and working on getting me to STFU with the badmouthing myself. But seriously, confidence is such a booster; even a little bit makes such a big change in attitude and overall appeal. I still struggle with feeling confident daily, but I know I have more confidence now than I did 10 years ago, or even 5 years ago. Hell, maybe even more than ONE year ago! (Plus denying all my good qualities to maintain this facade of low-self-worth is just EXHAUSTING, so the more often I knock that crap off, the more energy I tend to have!). I'm not letting myself get TOO swelled a head, 'cuz I still have a WAYS to go (annoyingly), but I should give myself a small pat on the back that the things I like about myself are still around, for the most part, and the parts I don't like about myself are slowly working their way to either being banished completely or at least controlled thoroughly.
For all my quibbling and mock-crying over getting older, I'm actually looking forward to the next decade. My frustration over this impending birthday had more to do with my perfectionist, over-achieving nature; I had a mental list of things to do before I was 30, and to be honest, a good chunk of them are still unchecked, which eats at me. (I'm slowly making my peace with it... slooooooowly. Can't do anything about it now, I'm turning 30 on Friday whether I like it or not.) The number has never been the issue; to be honest, when I look back on my 20's, the memories are more grimace-inducing than smile-bringing. There's a lot of hurt and (self)hate back there. So I'm looking forward to moving into a new decade as a hopefully fitter, better, happier, more productive me, and my attitude towards the mental checklist is that just because I didn't achieve it before my 30th birthday doesn't mean I can't still achieve it in general.
Besides, I've got 10 years until I'm 40, and EVERYONE knows that's when your life is REALLY over, right? ;D (KIDDING.)
Sunday, October 9, 2011
30 Before 30: A Tribute to The Hubs
I don't sing the praises of my husband enough. He puts up with a WHOLE lot of crazy on my end (the title of this blog isn't simply clever), and for that, he must be celebrated. I'm not the best at being flowery, sadly, so I'll just list what I love best about him. Warning: This WILL get mushy.
Another example of how great he is that can't be broken up into specifics: He is really working his butt off to make sure my 30th birthday is as great as he can make it. He's insisted that I throw a party, and won't let me cancel it no matter how much I want to on my bad days, AND he's planning a surprise for me on my actual birthday, but he won't tell me what. I'm trying so hard to figure it out - I THINK I've got it, but I don't want to ask just in case so I can still be surprised. xD Either way, I'm EXCITED about my birthday, which is a miracle in itself... the closer this stupid day has gotten, the more depressed I've been about it. I had a self-appointed list of things to do by 30 and I'm nowhere NEAR checking off most of those things, which is eating me up inside. BUT The Hubs thinks I'm wonderful, that I'm too hard on myself, and that the fact that I've been around for 30 years is a fact worth celebrating.
I wish for one day I could see myself through his eyes; I don't think I'd ever have a self-esteem problem again. He is a truly wonderful man, and I can't put it well enough into words how much I value him in my life.
- He has the prettiest color eyes, nice full lips, and the cutest dimples. Also: His hair is fine and soft, which I like.
- He's funny, which is what attracted me to him in the first place. We make each other laugh a lot. His laugh when he thinks something's REALLY funny is one of the best laughs in the world; I feel like I'm the funniest comedienne when I make him do it. (He doesn't like it, but I think it's ADORABLE.)
- He hates my negative talk, and immediately rebuts with how beautiful and wonderful he thinks I am.
- He's considerate; for example, if he's getting up to get something from the kitchen, he almost always asks if he can get me anything since he's up. I love that, it's so charming.
- Nice, lovely "relations". ;)
- He's willing to hold me as long as needed when I'm crying, even though it REALLY makes him uncomfortable. Not in a cold way, just that "AUGH A GIRL IS CRYING WHAT DO I DOOOOO" panicked way all guys have with crying girls. But he toughs it out, holds me while I sob, and simply whispers that he wishes there was something he could do. He doesn't think that what he's doing is enough, but it's all that I want or need in that moment.
- He's willing to be the bad guy when I need him to be. I fully admit that I need a little kick in the hindquarters sometimes, and he'll suck it up and be that for me. He doesn't like it, but he'll DO it.
- He's the most supportive person I've ever had in my life. He thinks I could fly to the moon if I wanted to, and won't let me discuss otherwise. He values my best qualities, and takes joy in sharing what he considers my greatest qualities with others. (I don't know how I fooled him so well, but I'm glad I did! j/k) It's a rare thing to have someone who is so completely in your corner and only wants what's best for you.
Another example of how great he is that can't be broken up into specifics: He is really working his butt off to make sure my 30th birthday is as great as he can make it. He's insisted that I throw a party, and won't let me cancel it no matter how much I want to on my bad days, AND he's planning a surprise for me on my actual birthday, but he won't tell me what. I'm trying so hard to figure it out - I THINK I've got it, but I don't want to ask just in case so I can still be surprised. xD Either way, I'm EXCITED about my birthday, which is a miracle in itself... the closer this stupid day has gotten, the more depressed I've been about it. I had a self-appointed list of things to do by 30 and I'm nowhere NEAR checking off most of those things, which is eating me up inside. BUT The Hubs thinks I'm wonderful, that I'm too hard on myself, and that the fact that I've been around for 30 years is a fact worth celebrating.
I wish for one day I could see myself through his eyes; I don't think I'd ever have a self-esteem problem again. He is a truly wonderful man, and I can't put it well enough into words how much I value him in my life.
Wednesday, October 5, 2011
30 Before 30: My Old-Woman Rant
Kids these days! *Waves fist angrily*
Yeah, I know, 30 doesn't equal old, but I find it fascinating how I'm becoming a cranky curmudgeon at such a young age. Sheesh.
What makes me so cranky is that it seems like manners have completely gone out the window. My parents are in no way high-falutin' society folk, but I was raised with basic manners. But it feels sometimes like I was the only one raised this way! That's overly persnickety, but I can't believe how self-centered our society has become.
The things currently driving me nuts:
Yeah, I know, 30 doesn't equal old, but I find it fascinating how I'm becoming a cranky curmudgeon at such a young age. Sheesh.
What makes me so cranky is that it seems like manners have completely gone out the window. My parents are in no way high-falutin' society folk, but I was raised with basic manners. But it feels sometimes like I was the only one raised this way! That's overly persnickety, but I can't believe how self-centered our society has become.
The things currently driving me nuts:
- People who don't signal for lane changes/check their blind spot/drive recklessly. I don't know ANYONE who is so important that they can put other people's lives at risk. Reckless drivers make me think they are just selfish, thoughtless people in general, because only selfish, thoughtless people would risk others' lives without a thought.
- When you call someone's cell phone and you get sent to voicemail after, like, 2 rings. It's called a "Silence" button, dammit. Every phone has one; some require figuring out (like for iPhones, you just hit the power button but nothing explicitly tells you that), but you can ALWAYS silence it so the phone keeps ringing but you aren't bothered by the ring. Why is this so much better than hitting ignore, in my opinion? Even if you actually DO want to ignore the person calling, it's better to let them think they just missed you. Ignorance is bliss. I feel rejected when the phone rings twice and then goes to voicemail - I KNOW you just ignored me. Even if you have a legitimate reason, I still feel like you rejected me and that makes you a jerk. ;p
- Facebook posts from the stupid games. I will confess, I'm breaking a mild addiction to "Restaurant City", but I never posted to the wall or sent people requests if I knew they didn't play the game. It drives me nuts. Actually, most FB behavior drives me nuts, but I still check it regularly. I just don't post to it much, haha.
Sunday, October 2, 2011
30 Before 30: "30 for 30" Wardrobe remix
So, as a birthday present to myself (and 'cuz I've been putting it off until I could start on a 1st day of the month), I'm doing a 30 for 30 wardrobe challenge.
The basic concept, as instructed by Kendi Everyday, is to pick 30 pieces and remix them to make new outfits every day for the next 30 days. Underclothes, pajamas (or workout clothes, if you're so inclined), and accessories are "free pieces", everything else is NOT. She added in the provision of no shopping; I'm allowing myself 1 piece, because I'm considering buying this super-cute sweater dress from Old Navy. So as of right now, I have 29 pieces technically until I chose to buy or not (if I don't, I'll pick a new piece or leave that space free for another purchase - it IS my birthday month, after all!).
I've added two exceptions of my own: I count tank-tops as underwear, because I usually wear them for extra coverage, and some of the pieces I chose are lower-cut than I would wear without a tank-top. Also, I'm STILL job interviewing; while I could create work-worthy outfits from most of my pieces, I step it up a little bit for an actual interview, so I'm allowing myself interviews as an exception to the 30 for 30 pieces.
The goal with doing this is mainly to have fun and give me a challenge. I'm actually pretty excited; I purposely picked a few "wild cards", as well as challenged myself by only allowing myself 1 denim piece and 1 pair of shorts. I ended up choosing denim shorts! Haha. That's right, no jeans for a MONTH. In fact, here's a list of my pieces:
Don't worry, I won't be blogging every look here. Instead, I'll be going back to Flickr; I miss that website, and need an excuse to use it. (Yes, I'm a social media whore, don't judge me.)
I will, however, leave this picture to lead the way to the Flickr album. Follow me, guys!
The basic concept, as instructed by Kendi Everyday, is to pick 30 pieces and remix them to make new outfits every day for the next 30 days. Underclothes, pajamas (or workout clothes, if you're so inclined), and accessories are "free pieces", everything else is NOT. She added in the provision of no shopping; I'm allowing myself 1 piece, because I'm considering buying this super-cute sweater dress from Old Navy. So as of right now, I have 29 pieces technically until I chose to buy or not (if I don't, I'll pick a new piece or leave that space free for another purchase - it IS my birthday month, after all!).
I've added two exceptions of my own: I count tank-tops as underwear, because I usually wear them for extra coverage, and some of the pieces I chose are lower-cut than I would wear without a tank-top. Also, I'm STILL job interviewing; while I could create work-worthy outfits from most of my pieces, I step it up a little bit for an actual interview, so I'm allowing myself interviews as an exception to the 30 for 30 pieces.
The goal with doing this is mainly to have fun and give me a challenge. I'm actually pretty excited; I purposely picked a few "wild cards", as well as challenged myself by only allowing myself 1 denim piece and 1 pair of shorts. I ended up choosing denim shorts! Haha. That's right, no jeans for a MONTH. In fact, here's a list of my pieces:
- 6 dresses (I KNOW RIGHT)
- 8 tops
- 4 jackets
- 1 vest
- 3 pairs of pants
- 2 pairs of leggings (one black, one "jeggings", which I don't count as denim)
- 5 pairs of shoes
- 5 skirts
Don't worry, I won't be blogging every look here. Instead, I'll be going back to Flickr; I miss that website, and need an excuse to use it. (Yes, I'm a social media whore, don't judge me.)
I will, however, leave this picture to lead the way to the Flickr album. Follow me, guys!
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| This is what happens when your husband is the photographer |
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